Fair disclosure: I’ve just finished an e-mail correspondence a Ward’s employee who insulted my professional honor. On her or off her? Definitely on her. That’s the best offer I’ve had all week. But seriously folks, if my expense account hadn’t suddenly disappeared, I’d send these guys the animated version of Atlas Shrugged. As Dash Parr (a.k.a. Incredible) moaned, saying every one’s special is like saying no one’s special. I mean, eleven winners? “All 35 [considered] vehicles were divided into six car and truck segments based on price. One winner is named for each of the six categories, plus special-achievement honorees are selected in five other areas. The 11 awards carry equal weight.” And I’m sure that’s exactly what you told the manufacturers so honored. Who are . . .

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Eyal Binshtock is the unlikely name of the web slinger who’s constantly on my NSFW to create a regular Bestcovery feature (and permanent link) on TTAC. And so we shall. Meanwhile, his best bud took these snaps of the new Porsche Panamera on the PCH. I’ve yet to see one in the flesh, but I hate big butts and I cannot lie. Never mind. I can’t wait to put the Panamera through its paces. But then I’m a Porschephile. And I have a thing for ugly cars. You?

[Thanks to Beth Tucker at Global Post for the link]

Even though China is the largest car market in the world at the moment, Chinese car designers have a tough row to hoe. The Wall Street Journal’s China Journal blog explains that while there are plenty of well-educated Chinese industrial designers, the prevalent design philosophy keeps their best work in school. According to an unnamed Chinese auto exec, the competitive advantage for Chinese automakers vis-à-vis their foreign partnership competitors is that they never start engineering or designing from a blank sheet of paper. Rather, the standard practice is to “tell an outside engineering consultant which existing model they want to copy, and ask them to come up with a product counterfeited in a way that it won’t attract intellectual property lawsuits. In some cases that means companies combining styling ideas from two separate cars into one.”

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We at TTAC are aware of the strain we’ve been placing on attention spans today, what with the six (!) full-length pieces we’ve published today and all. In honor of your noble sacrifice at the altar of literacy we present a gallery of photos from our photographer in Geneva, Tim Sutton. Without comment. Enjoy.

For the past few car shows, Hyundai has been displaying mock-ups of a future Tuscon light-SUV. Boring enough one might say, except that the concepts have been so swoopy/gorgeous that even my SUV-hating girlfriend gets wanna-have pangs for what she calls the J-Lomobile. Here in Geneva, Hyundai is showing what they now call the ix-onic, a lower-case technical whiz kid. It has a 1.6L turbo gasoline engine, 170 hp, but emmissions of only 149 g CO₂, a DSG transmission and all kinds of other technical gobbledygookery. We can expect it for 2010 with few changes to the highly atractive concept except for the usual smaller wheels and lower chrome content. But what about the name? A Hyundai spokeman said all future 4WD models will use the ix-nomenclature, as in “ix-1”, “ix-2”, etc. That’s a relief—I was almost expecting something along the line of an upcoming Hyundai ix-otic, Hyundai er-otic and Hyundai ex-tatic (the latter being a sports car, of course). Tu-tonic plays with words, I know . . . .

One of the things buzzing here at the Geneva Salon is Kia’s No. 3, which, although a concept, is close to what will be marketed in 2010. No. 3 is a mini-minivan built upon the Soul platform, but has an unminivan-strong stance, recognizable personality and some pretty nifty details, such as gold Barbie-leather seats. You could tell Peter Schreyer is proud of this first Kia that is 100% his own design. Pistonheads know Schreyer as the Kraut who was responsible for the first Audi TT and the Audi A2. No 3 is also notable for the new Kia corporate grille, which will intend to make Kias instantly recognizable to one and all. Even to the overtaxed motor-show eye, it works without being ostentatious in an Audi sort of way, so one looks forward to the Schreyer treatment on the upcoming mid-class Kia Magentis. All very nice, but what about the oddtastic name? As the PR lady explained to me, Kia will overhaul all its names around the idea of Number One for the smallest, Number Two for the second smallest . . . . “Gasp, you don’t really intend to call them that, do you?” “No, it’s just an idea”, she replied, “we might call them K1, K2, K3 etc, or something else—we’ll see”. Well, that’s a relief.

I admit, I have a strange fascination with watching cars crash. And though large, heavy cars can cause some of the most dangerous accidents, there’s something particularly satisfying about watching a small car hit the wall (or get hit by a large, heavy car). As an American I feel hard-wired to expect smaller cars to explode into a million pieces of tin foil and socialized medicine every time I see one making a slow-mo impact in a crash test. But the glory days of “hoo boy!” moments in compact crash tests seem to be coming to a close. Toyota’s tiny iQ just logged a five-star rating from Europe’s NCAP crash testers, and as this video shows, the drama just never shows up. A cocoon of airbags, some brilliant crumpling and surprising side-impact resilience take a lot of the “sucks to be that dummy” entertainment value from the iQ test video. Oh well. I guess it’s time to move on to watching Chinese car crash tests. Schadenfreude doesn’t feed itself.

Audi has become the top premium brand in the European market, according to Auto Motor und Sport, selling 45,124 vehicles last year. This is no small achievement, as competition among Germany’s premium brands is fierce. Mercedes was the second best-selling premium brand in the market with 39,748 sales and BMW fell to third with 36,832 units sold. Only a year ago, Audi was in 3rd place with 3.9 percent of the market; now it boasts 5.1 percent. In the same period, BMW and Merc market share dropped by less than half of one percent. Audi marketing maven Peter Schwarzenbauer credits Audi’s young vehicle lineup, telling AM und S that new models like the A4 Allroad (above) would keep sales momentum moving.

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Via Motorauthority come these first official images of Mercedes’ 2010 E-Class Coupe. Daimler claims a frontal Cd of .24 for its CLK replacement, “a figure that is comparable with cars like the Toyota Prius and upcoming Chevrolet Volt.” And as much as the romantic in me wants to believe that solid aerodynamics lend an innate beauty to a vehicle’s design, the three vehicles mentioned seem to make the opposite argument. What say you?

Why did Chief BMW Designer Chris “Flame Broiled” Bangle introduce this vehicle to the world? His successor, Adrian van Hooydonk, was responsible for its genesis (in the non-Hyundai sense of the word). At the unveiling, the outgoing design meister said Mr. Hooptie was in The Big Apple on Bimmer business. In any case, what a waste of time. (Not to mention money, as the industry is currently so awash in the stuff.) That said, it was nice to hear Mr. Bangle tell the assembled 3D-glasses wearing throngs that they looked “cute” in a 1950’s Life magazine cover photo sort of way. And I was intrigued to discover this four-door career coupe de grace offers more rear headroom than an X5. Will this, uh, thing ever make production? Do you care?

Car designers are not the best people to choose the most beautiful car in the world (MBCITW). Carmaking is a collaborative art and car designers work within a . . . Wait. Did I say art? Business. Making cars is a business. Anyone who ascends to the pinnacle of a car company’s design department did so as much by their political savvy as their aesthetic sensibilities. As a result, you’d be hard pressed to find a more pretentious group of people. Their every word is weighed, calculated and delivered to strengthen their reputation for intelligence and good taste. So, anyway, I decided to call photographer Michael Furman to get his take on this hot topic. Michael has snapped thousands of cars from every era. “There are plenty of gorgeous women in the world,” Michael opines. “With most of them, the feeling you get when you first see them eventually wanes. Only the most beautiful get more beautiful over time.” The 1938 Bentley Embiricos [above] is Michael’s second choice for MBCITW. His first? The 1938 Alfa Romeo 2900D MM. Which he’s photographing next week, and will share with us soon thereafter. [Question: should we ask other industry types to name their MBCITW and make this into a series?]

Classic & Sports Car magazine asked 20 car designers (full list after the jump) to name the most beautiful whip of all time. The winner: the Citroen DS. The Jaguar XK120 takes second place, followed by the Ferrari 275GTB, Cord 810/812, Ferrari 250GT Lusso, Ferrari 250GT Short-wheelbase, Jaguar E-type, Lamborghini Miura, Lotus Elan and Lotus Elite (1957). Caution: the DS’ position at the top of the pile (that doesn’t sound right) makes it the vehicle that most jurors voted most highly—rather than the car that most of them thought was the most beautiful. (Polls are funny that way. And our headline’s entirely misleading, now that I think about it.) Unfortunately, the buff book’s press release doesn’t reveal who voted for what. But the idea that a DS can hold a candle to American automobiles of the Classic Era (e.g. 1931 Duesenberg Model SJ “French Speedster” or 1935 Auburn 851 Speedster) is ludicrous, in a Le Corbusier is my God kinda way.

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“Express post or lightning-fast courier? If you are really in a hurry and have something to hide then there is only one mode of transport for you: the professional driver Frank Martin (Jason Statham). In his latest film, Transporter 3, he sets off action-packed fireworks, which set a standard even higher than he is used to. The sports pedals of ABT Sportsline and the forged alloys wheel set Forge A from AEZ can be seen in supporting roles in this exciting hunt for environmental terrorists.”