Peter M. De Lorenzo, the self-styled AutoExtremist, seems to have calmed down a notch or two in recent weeks. Sweet Pete is back to taking well-aimed rifle shots at the industry’s soft spots. This week, he takes on J.D. Power and Associates. As SP points out, few consumers realize that J.D. Power is a for-profit marketing/research/data mill firm dedicated to raking in the bucks by any means possible. “Their latest money-making brainstorm? Something called the ‘Vehicle Launch Index.'” Using a bunch of pseudo-scientific statistical mumbo-jumbo, J.D. Power says they will be able to measure the effectiveness of new model launch campaigns AND tell the auto makers how to do it better. Peter doesn’t miss a step when he says: “J.D. Power has honed its brazen formula of Unmitigated Gall + Unmitigated Bullshit = Huge Wads of Cash exceedingly well over the years, and too often the auto industry blindly catered to Power with little rhyme or reason other than the fact that they were afraid what would happen if theydidn’t bow down to them.
Automotive News [sub] reports that J.D. Power is introducing a Vehicle Launch Index, aimed at providing OEMs with data and feedback on product launches. For a nominal (sliding scale) fee, JDP will follow launches for the first 12 months of a model’s life, measuring ad effectiveness, consumer response, dealer gross profits and incentive spending. “There will be 88 new and restyled model launches in 2009,” JDP VP for research Dave Sargent tells AN. “Some of them will succeed. Others won’t, and frankly should never have gotten approval to see the light of day.” And JDP’s role will be to boldly proclaim vehicle program flaws during and after launches, because “it’s hard for people inside the company, especially if they want to get ahead in their career, to derail a project by saying, ‘This plan is flawed.'” Because what fixes dysfunctional product development like a highly paid consultant offering post-mortem bon mots?
Chrysler is hoping against hope that it can move the moribund metal with an employee pricing incentive interest free what about leasing financing sale. Yes, it’s the kitchen sink of car deals, with every gimmick the freshly capitalized (thank you America) Chrysler can muster. More specifically, Auburn Hills is offering buyers employee pricing– whatever that is– plus $6k off ’08’s, or zero percent financing or low-cost leasing for up to 48 months (for somewhat qualified buyers). Customers who fancy an ’09 Chrysler, Dodge or Jeep product “only” get $3500 off the employee price. No matter what you call it, the reality is that Chrysler continues to drop its prices in the hopes that someone will buy its products. Residuals be damned.
Tesla has increased the price of its Tesla Roadster by pricing once-standard equipment at $6,700. Customers who thought they’d locked-in pricing by submitting up to a $50k deposit, haven’t. “We want to have healthy margins on the car to guarantee the viability of the company,” says Tesla spokeswoman Rachel Konrad. “The margins are really important on this car for the next group of investors, whether it’s public shareholders in an IPO, the federal government looking at federal loan candidates or the next group of venture capitalists.” According to Wired, the biggest increase is to the “high-power connector” that recharges the car’s lithium-ion battery in as little as three hours. Once offered as standard equipment, it now costs $3,000. Tesla still includes a mobile 110-volt connector in the base price. But it requires as much as 37 hours to recharge a dead battery. “That can seem startling, and it is a big change,” Konrad admits. “But we have a lot of customers who use their mobile charger as a primary charger. Even with a 110 charger plugged in overnight, they’re nearly full again the next morning, because most customers aren’t driving the car to empty. They’re constantly topping off the battery.”
“We now have a special bond with the American public,” said a certain Mr James E. Press of the Chrysler Motor Company at the Detroit Auto Show. Specifically, Mr Press’s firm owes American taxpayers $5.5b (including Chrysler financial aid) and have no real way of paying it back. But Chrysler’s gonna make it worth our while anyway; they’re gonna give Americans what they want. Wait, what do we want again? High-quality, practical, efficient, fun cars that hold their value? Hell no! We want the fourth installment of an aging action franchise to feature the cars and trucks of The New Chrysler! And boy are we gonna get that! Automotive News [sub] reports that Chrysler will give the makers of “Terminator: Salvation” an undisclosed amount of your tax money to feature their top-notch products alongside a certain Mr Christian Bale. Why? “We have a following with the Terminator movies and we are going to continue with that,” gushes a ChryCo media flack. Because things have been going so swell up to now? Because if Bale can save the Batman and Terminator franchises, you’ll make him CEO? Because you think machines will end the world before the American people get around to asking what you’ve done with their money?
When it comes to moving the metal, Toyota doesn’t fool around. OK, they did do those stupid Tundra truck tricks. But how do you think a man like Mr. Toyonda got to be a man like Mr. Toyonda? By building on the brand’s rep for reliability. To that end, to expand the market for Priora and other hybrid models, Toyota’s adding “Toyota Certfied Used Hybrids” (TCUH) to their Toyota Certified Vehicles (TCUV) program. “Customers benefit from additional inspection and warranty coverage on Toyota hybrids within the program. Each vehicle comes with the three-month/3,000-mile comprehensive warranty, seven-year/100,000-mile limited powertrain warranty and roadside assistance plan offered on traditional TCUV models.” The program also “brings added awareness to a pre-existing eight-year/100,000-mile factory hybrid battery warranty.” In other words, same coverage, more rappers. The TCUH pre-certfication process includes 14 additional hybrid-related inspection points, including the hybrid transaxle, control modules and battery. Existing owners should benefit from improved residuals. Now, if Lexus will do the same for the LS600hL…
“With its sophisticatedly produced light metal wheels, AEZ targets an equally demanding and style-conscious clientele. An image, which is not just underlined in the new 38-page 2009 alloy catalogue by the high-quality product range, but also by the stylish model Caroline from Austria. For a whole week the photographer trekked with the stylish Viennese through the salines of Es Trenc in Mallorca for the shooting of the brochure. There she posed in the company of classy automobiles with partners made of cool aluminium that had exotic sounding names such as Lascar, Tidore dark or Tacana. In the resulting scenes, shot against natural backdrops, Caroline impressively showed that neither the industry-standard bare breasts nor promiscuous poses are needed to create a sexy aura.”
Farley was first. Last week, Ford’s marketing maven threw down for The Blue Oval Boyz, declaring Crazy Henry’s mob’s would grab a bigger slice of the new car pie. Now Ed Peper’s prognosticating a more prodigious piece of America’s deflated new car market. Chevy’s brand Veep stepped up to the microphone at the Automotive News World Congress (our invitation got trapped by the spam filter) and told the world– well, Detroit– that the bow tie brand is ascendant. “We gained six-tenths of a point of (retail) market share last year,” Eddy declared. “This was the second-highest year-over-year share gain among all car brands, behind only Honda.” Hang on; what’s this then? “Chevrolet’s 2008 total market share was 13.5 percent, down from 13.9 percent in 2007, according to the Automotive News Data Center. Toyota Division overtook Chevrolet as the top-selling brand in 2008, rising to 13.9 percent from 13.4 percent in 2007.” Hmmm. Anyway, you’ll never guess how Chevy will steal sales from its rivals. Government checks for buyers? Well, not directly. (Just kidding. Sort of.) Nope. Marketing!
When Ford unloaded Land Rover on India’s Tata Motors, commentators didn’t see a whole lot of future for the brand. Sure, Landies are known worldwide for bearing the white man’s burden in places where he was eventually kicked-out and replaced by ruthless, genocidal despots. But the western world’s new-found fascination with automotive CO2 levels (of all things) didn’t bode well for Britain’s stilt-borne barges. Even before the transfer, Land Rover has been busy appeasing [both] 4X4-loving tree huggers by hanging-out the greenwashing– paying for carbon credits, stocking the cafeteria with organic cauliflower cheese, that sort of thing. Under its new masters, the planet-friendly spin continues. A press release this morning reveals that Landie’s Gaydon training facility has been converted to Eden Project II.
Ex-Toyota and current Ford marketing maven Jim Farley tells Automotive News [AN, sub] that The Blue Oval Boyz “expect” to stabilize their U.S. market share– after a 13-year decline. And if that’s not stretching the boundaries of credibility (your call), Jimbo reckons the new Lincoln MKT and, what was it again? MKS “could” increase the luxury brand’s slice of the American pie. “We think we have a really good chance this year. We don’t know what the luxury market is going to look like, but the one thing we’re really focused on is making sure that people see our products as aspirational and they pay the price.” Although Farley fails to provide a plan to achieve this goal, AN reckons it could may maybe perhaps happen. “Lincoln could gain share even as the brand’s total sales fall below 100,000 for the first time since 1982. Lincoln finished 2008 with sales of 107,295, its lowest total since 1983. With forecasts for lower industry sales in 2009, executives acknowledged that new-vehicle entries may not be enough to keep Lincoln sales in six figures.”
Automotive News [sub] reports that GM’s Zen Master/Product Guru Mark LaNeve is turning his back on ye olde (2006) “market pricing.” You know, where the sticker price reflects the actual selling price. Or thereabouts. “In terms of a pure strategy where we price right to market and have no incentive spending — we have very few vehicles where we’d do that. We’ll have some level of incentive spending almost across the board.” After that… I’m confused. Why has GM increased ’09 product prices by 2.7 percent (roughly $790)? And what’s this mean? “LaNeve said GM prefers to spend incentive money for competitive reasons — not to reduce inventory, as it has been doing, because the latter is ‘wasted money.’ “We continue to want to price our vehicles to the market. We’d like to see incentive spending wane once we get our inventories adjusted. I think it smoothes out after the first quarter. We’re hardly building anything in the first quarter.” So, Uncle Sugar’s paying GM not to build cars, so they can eventually offer incentives to steal market share from carmakers who aren’t being paid not to build cars? Sweet.
Audi is the official sponsor of President Elect Barack Obama’s inauguration. No really. “ABC, CBS, NBC evening newscasts will be presented with limited commercial breaks exclusively from Audi. An eight-page insert in major newspapers nationwide [USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, The Miami Herald, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe] highlight Audi innovations and Audi will be the sole sponsor of the inaugural address on top news sites.” Isn’t Ingolstadt a little leery of playing partisan politics with America’s well-heeled motorists? “Regardless of political preferences, the inauguration represents a unique moment of progress,” Audi NA Prez Johan de Nysschen. “That’s why we wanted to share this experience and begin a conversation about innovation, technology and the path ahead.” Get it? No? Let’s try that again…
When Pontiac picked the name “G8 ST” from 8k entries to its “Tame The Name” competition, it was obvious that weak-wristed marketing would be a major component in its Aussie lite-ute’s American campaign. After all, the most, erm, unique vehicle in the GM lineup would surely need a good old-fashioned ferocious animal or force of nature name to succeed. And now that the G8-amino has been canceled, its namer has confirmed the mundanity of the instincts behind the ST moniker. Pickuptrucks.com reports that the Name Tamer, Joseph Warren, was supposed to receive an ST for his excellence in humdrummery. But with the ute canceled he’s opted for a Pontiac Torrent. That’s right, G8 ST lovers, the obvious replacement for your symbol of individuality is a brand-engineered Theta-platform crossover. Oh sure, Warren picked the “hot” GXP version with 268 hp, 18 inch 5-spoke chrome wheels, twin hood scoops, and “a unique front and rear body kit.” And yes, the choice of any $30k Pontiac product is a little like picking the most subtly elegant Steven Seagal movie. But c’mon, a Torrent? No Solstice? No G8 Sedan? No wonder “G8 ST” was all this guy could come up with. Just sayin’.
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