When the new MINI was born, someone in BMW’s marketing department decided to make it a caps lock affair. As I opined at thetruthaboutgrammar.com, MINI was a stupid, artsy, doomed, graphical mandate. Yes, it differentiated the Bimmer-derived MINI from the much-beloved BMC rust-bucket, Mini. But no one other than designer glasses-wearing car execs gave a damn, really. The MINI sold, and sold well, for reasons entirely unrelated to typography (one presumes). Und now we have the battery-operated MINI, which gives Munich’s marketing mavens a chance to redeem themselves. I mean, eMINI is an Apple-scented slam dunk, a move that would easily justify the original, bone-headed, all-caps affectation. But noooooo. BMW goes for MINI E. How long, pray tell. does one hold the “eee” sound at the end? Anyone remember The Man With Two Brains? Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr. MINI E is like that. Only not so funny.
Category: Marketing
Also file under “what else do you say when sales drop 52.9 percent?” Automotive News [sub] sifted out a tasty nugget from GM’s latest sales conference call kabuki. “We’ve looked at Hyundai’s (Assurance) program extensively, and we’ve examined some possibilities of what we might do because certainly the consumer is anxious and worried about the future and whether or not they will retain their job,” was how GM’s Mark LaNeve put it. Interesting. But, continues the GM marketing chief, “we’re not crazy about the Hyundai program.” Because it’s made of kimchee? No, “because all it does is protect your credit from being wrecked. You’ve still got to turn in your car. And when you lose your job, you still need a car to find another job.” GM’s answer: build the gimmick that fixes everything. Of course.
You’d think that Ford’s marketing department would have seen what the “Pontiac is Car” tagline has done to move the former excitement building brand’s moribund metal (i.e., nothing) and avoided generic genius like a pistonhead plague. But no, Ford is using its largest advertising platform—American Idol—to promote the 2010 Fusion under the banner “We Speak Car.” FoMoCo’s marketing comms maven explains [via The Detroit News] how the $60M to $80M ad campaign will shift expectations (taken). “We’re known as a truck and Mustang company,” said Matt Van Dyke. “This sets us up for our future car launches.” Speaking to Ad Age, Ford’s global group marketing manager for small- and medium-size cars insists that her employer’s “throw it up against the wall and see what sticks” approach is alive and well. Well, alive.
You just know it’s got to be GM. And so it is. The words flew out of the mouth of Steve Tihanyi, the man who oversees GM’s sponsorships. Or, more accurately, the elimination of GM sponsorships. After all, in Bailout Nation, you can’t be seen to be having a good time on the taxpayer’s nickel. (Although GM spokeswoman Kelly Cusinato helpfully pointed out that there are no advertising or marketing restrictions attached to the government loans or the company’s viability plan.) The latest casualty: GM’s 25-year sponsorship of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Bloomberg:
The company will slash by at least 60 percent on-site spending at the Final Four, even though this year it will be held blocks from GM’s headquarters in Detroit. The company is trimming dealer-incentive trips to the championship rounds and billboards downtown. Tihanyi wouldn’t comment on how much the 60 percent cut in on-site promotion and entertainment would save.
’Cause that would be telling. Oh, and Bloomies forgot to mention that GM’s not going to use its swanky skybox seats at this year’s final four. What’s the bet they’ll go empty?
Whoa. I mean, way-hey! It seems like just a thousand years ago that GM started hyping their retro-styled rear wheel-drive Chevrolet coupe. And now, at least a week before GM scarfs another “bridge loan” and a good month before the company files for Chapter 11, one of our valued contacts has sent us these dealer prep sheets (PDF) for the new 2010 Chevrolet Camaro. Thank God GM Car Czar Bob Lutz is still alive to see this day.
Yet again, a manufacturer is releasing an image which shows a bit of a car to generate excitement at the prospect of seeing . . . the rest of the car. Wasn’t there a board game like this, where you had to guess the whole image as little pieces were revealed? Well, I find the hide-and-seek, slow-reveal automotive press release shtick an inherently infantile practice. Resisting the urge to blame Autoblog for this outbreak of electronic peek-a-boo, thrilled as they must have been with the 235 “teaser” shots provided by FoMoCo in the run up to the entirely predictable 2010 Mustang, I will not resist the urge to call this technique the autoblogospherical equivalent of dickless porn. Do I really care what a new fender vent looks like?
“In the true spirit of the Ferrari racing team, the Acer Ferrari 1200 notebook combines powerful performance and extreme portability with the excellence of design. From the choice of materials to the smallest detail, the Ferrari 1200 conveys the look and feel of a F1 racecar. The carbon-fibre cover, a material actually used in racecars, is lighter yet stronger than magnesium alloy, making the Ferrari 1200 the perfect travel companion. Unique ventilation design echoes the exhaust pipes of F1 cars and the anodized-metal touchpad resembles the brake and acceleration pedals of a Ferrari car. A tasteful wave pattern embellishes the cover, while the soft-touch coating and the velvety texture of the interior ensure ergonomic comfort.” See? Now that’s funny. [thanks to Autoblog, without whom we’d know nothing of bodacious auto-brandation]
Last Thanksgiving, I took my step-daughter to the GM “Test Track” at Disney World. When we walked up to the heavy steel door, the ride was “temporarily closed” for “technical reasons.” We waited. The ride reopened twenty minutes later. We were cattle herded through a chain link channel, passing various displays designed to educate guests about automotive development: air bags, door longevity, etc. The ten-year-old displays were worn, dated and dusty. There was no branding anywhere; no mention of Buick, Chevrolet, Pontiac, GMC, Saturn, Saab, Cadillac or HUMMER. When we got to the acoustic chamber, the ride broke. Not good: the chamber lacked ventilation. People started leaving the line after 20 minutes. Just before the ride, a short video (on a small TV) extolled the joys of ABS—for a Chevy Trailblazer.
Forty miles without a single drop of gasoline. That’s been the pitch for Chevrolet’s Volt since it was just a concept. And it’s a claim that GM has been hammering hard on in promotional materials, advertisements and to the media. But it seems that the claim deserves an asterisk. Green Fuel Forecast‘s Sam Abuelsamid recently spoke with folks from GM’s Voltec battery development team. In the discussion of the Volt’s thermal management system, an inconvenient truth raises its misshapen head. “If you’re not plugged in and the battery is not conditioned and we’ve got to deal with the elements, right now we’re thinking 0-10°C we won’t use the battery. The more we can use it the better but we’ve got that area of refinement we’ll have to do as we get more of the engines, more of the vehicles, more of the batteries and tune it all up,” GM director of hybrid energy storage systems, Denise Gray tells GFF.
Friends’ star Jennifer Aniston crashed her Jaguar back in the 00’s. Since then, Jennifer has kept the PC flame alive with her Toyota Prius. Courtney Cox crashed a white Bimmer in Hawaii, but she’s normally seen driving a Range Rover (even if she isn’t sure which one’s hers). Sarah Jessica Parker got to keep her clothes from Sex and the City; here’s hoping Ms. Cox added an Audi R8 to her Dirt contract. Lisa Kudrow snagged a car out of her deal with Lexus’ internet-only L Studio. Matt LeBlanc races for fun, and fessed-up about running a Porsche Turbo on Conan O’Brien. Well, not on him… Matthew Perry also crashed a BMW, but moved on to a Porsche Cabriolet. David Schwimmer’s first car was a 1976 Chevy Monte Carlo. Pause. He also dated Minnie Driver. Pause. And that’s enough for the guy who went from being a poster child for sarcasm to the whiniest man on planet Earth. Now, ALL of them can get do the right thing for American manufacturing (whatever that is) AND get a discount on a GM product simply by finding a “friend” who works for the company. For people who pay people to get rid of stalkers, how hard can that be? And you can get the same deal too! Not on stalkers but GM products! GM’s announcement to its employees after the jump.
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