Chrysler flackmeister Stuart Schorr didn't take kindly to Ford analyst George Pipa's comments about the decline and fall of the U.S. minivan market. On Chrysler's Firehouse.biz media blog, Schorr took on "the myth that shoppers are moving away from minivans." The numbers show last year's overall minivan sales (800k units industry-wide) were 18 percent lower than the previous year's. Yet Schorr still boasts that Chrysler's "retail [emphasis added] minivan sales are flat through the first quarter this year." Wait a minute. Isn't the goal supposed to be increased retail sales? Anyway, Schorr explains that the flatlined sales are part of "the overall 9 percent drop in industry sales" and "the reduction of our lineup to two models." Besides, "we cut our minivan fleet sales by 46 percent" (which has nothing to do with retail sales). The fact remains: minivan sales are down. Way down. And, if current trends continue, staying down. In fact, they're falling, both in absolute terms and as a percentage of vehicles sold. In case you were wondering.

Wow Volkswagen. Just when I thought you couldn't do anything more to get a VeeDub into the service bay, you really step it up. Right now, I just bring my GTI in every other month when the check engine light illuminates my face with fury. But the new "carefree maintenance program" announced Wednesday is next-generation stupid. For the first 36k miles of ownership, VW will do all your scheduled maintenance for free. What is the scheduled maintenance you ask? Changing the oil (which VW claims is only necessary every 10k miles on 2009s onward, thanks to synthetic oil) and uh, checking a whole bunch of fluid levels. VW's press release [via the great press release funnel otherwise known as Autoblog] touts the new program as a "great way to improve our owner loyalty for the brand, as well as increase consumer consideration." Uh no and no. This isn't going to sell cars, and the opportunity to save $20 bucks on the free oil change isn't going to make up for all the dealer-service department scamming guaranteed to take place. In fact, if I was a VW NA corporate suit (poor sods), I'd be doing everything I could to keep people AWAY from the dealers, to minimize the amount of rip-off-itude.

"Automakers wage war for market share," reads the headline over at China Daily. The current battlefront of that war can be viewed at the 2008 Beijing International Automotive Exhibition, which runs through April 28th. With 890 vehicles on display in the 1.9m square foot arena, the nine-day event is expected to attract more than 600k visitors. The spoils of war can be lucrative, too, with Chinese vehicle sales up 21.4 percent year-over-year, which translates to 2.58m cars sold in the first quarter. Total sales are predicted to surpass the 8.79m units sold in '07 and reach 10m vehicles in 2008. While the suspected recession in the U.S. has tempered car sales here, the prospects in China offer a respite: Ford's Chinese sales have "rocketed" by 47 percent in the first quarter. GM's Rick Wagoner figures China will account for more than 40 percent of global auto sales growth in the coming decade. Meanwhile, Mercedes-Benz launched its C-Class sedans in China last month and Ulrich Walker, the chairman and CEO of Daimler Northeast Asia Ltd., is amazed at China's transformation. In a single generation, a population simply striving to own a "Flying Pigeon" bicycle now strives to own a "big Benz." "In the history of the world, no country has changed as much as China in the past 30 years," says MB's Walker.

Not that you'd know it from reading Jamie Lareau's lead in Automotive News [sub]: "As General Motors works on its corporate turnaround, a smaller version is under way at its Saturn brand." To use a phrase popular back when Saturn was GM's import fighter (as opposed to its import provider), gag me with a spoon. So how does Lareau justify his faith in Saturn's future? Not very well. "Customers have yet to arrive in a huge numbers. Through March, Saturn's U.S. sales totaled 48,306 units, down 15.3 percent from 2007." Ain't that the truth. Apparently it's not the whole truth; Lareau feels obliged to dredge-up a two-month old quote from GM CEO Rick Wagoner re: Saturn's recovery: 'We knew what we were doing, which is to change the profile of the kinds of products that we sell at Saturn from basically low-priced cars to cars that compete on the basis of being great cars, European influence, et cetera. It's fair to say that's not an easy assignment.'" Et cetera? Anyway, is it also fair to say Saturn's failed, considering the brand's shot its proverbial new product wad and still managed to under-perform a declining U.S. new car market? Of course not. Lareau gives the last word to Saturn's recently-snubbed brand manager Jill Lajdziak. "There's no question we have to continue to build the awareness of our new products. That doesn't happen overnight. You don't just walk into a segment. You have to earn your way into the segment." 

When a Chrysler PR flack called to ask about the source for the leaky-roofed Dodge Journey tested by TTAC reviewer Michael Karesh, I asked him why his employer would re-launch itself as the "New Chrysler" before it eliminated a third to a half of its tri-branded lineup. Surely they should make the cuts and then tell the world  Chrysler's reborn; losing a bunch of models does nothing for a carmaker's rep (not to mention owners' residuals). A long silence followed. That was February. This is April. And we still don't know which models are going away. That said, ChryCo's executive vice president for North American sales is dropping hints. According to The Detroit Free Press, Steven Landry told students and alumni at a Northwood University event that "What we'll do in our business model is not build similar vehicles on the same platform that kind of look and act like they have the same DNA… To give you an example: Jeep Liberty and Dodge Nitro, basically a similar vehicle with different skin and a little bit of different interior; Chrysler Aspen and Dodge Durango, same platform; Sebring, Avenger, same platform. We're not going to have vehicles like that. We're not going to have twin vehicles, one for one brand and one for another." Does this mean the end for TTAC Ten Worst Autos winners Chrysler Aspen (9) and, more importantly, Jeep Compass (1)? Watch this space.   

When I lived in the UK, any and all deliveries of big ticket items were [not] made in "six to eight weeks." In the carmaker spin game, almost everything that isn't happening now is due in 2010. Until, of course, 2010. When it'll be 2011 or 2012. Anyway, according to Chrysler's executive vice president of North American sales, the automaker will unveil its first standalone service center on that fabled date. Lest the company reveal any pertinent info or commit to a particular plan, Steven Landry followed his boss' lead in revealing what the Brits call sweet FA. "Chrysler is in discussion with 'under 10' retailers about the strategy, he says. Landry would not detail which markets or dealerships are involved in the talks… 'In some cases where one dealer is buying another one in a situation where there are not enough service stalls the buying dealership will be able to use the other dealership service stalls as a stand-alone service center,' Landry says. 'You need to have the right number of stalls.' Props to Autoblog's Michael Harley for using this quote to finish with the appropriate bathroom humor. "Funny, any woman at a professional sporting event could have told you that." Ba-doom-boom. 

Engadget reports on a new oh-so-clever Scion ad campaign featuring an interactive storefront window. Just in case passers-by might be a little self-conscious about gesticulating wildly in the middle of the pavement for no apparent reason, the window taunts pistonheads with the prospect of "releasing"– and thus winning– a tC Release Series 4.0 vehicle. (I make that two better than web 2.0.) While the geek factor is high, and I'm sure the ad agency used loads of bizzare buzzwords to justify the campaign, I'm not quite sure if violently dismissing bubbles filled with tCs sends the right subconscious message. No worries; the end of the video offers two testimonials from Ye Olde Men on the Street, explaining why this is one kick-ass marketing idea. Call me a skeptic, but what's the bet the unidentified enthusiastic interviewees are paid shills for Scion? 

“We are satisfied with the judge’s decision,” Ford spokeswoman Kristen Kinley told Reuters. “We feel that although the case is without merit and we proved that in court, we also believe the settlement is right for our customers.” Well duh. Some 800k Ford owners and lessees file a class-action lawsuit against the Blue Oval Boyz for lost value– due to the whole Firestone/Explorer rollover deal– and FoMoCo gives them a discount towards the purchase of a new Ford. We’re talking certificates good for $500 off a new Explorer, or $300 off any other Ford, Mercury or Lincoln product. Oh, and the plaintiffs’ lawyers get $25m. Hang on. Say half of those people buy a new Ford. Excluding Ford’s own legal fees (which are probably part of their normal overhead) and the discount itself (as usual), the marketing cost for those “disgruntled customers'” sales will cost Ford just $62.50 each. Given the money to be made on trade-ins and re-financing… Call me crazy, but this class action lawsuit thing sounds a genuine business opportunity. [props to Cammy Corrigan for the link]

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Yahoo! Finance reports that Ford's chief engineer for Research and Advanced Engineering will spend part of his day telling the Society of Automotive Engineers that his employer is counting on their EcoBoost technology– not hybrids– to meet and greet federal mpg standards and appeal to buyers. Andreas R. Schamel's speech will tout "volume-based, near-term actions… within the next five years." [In case you hadn't heard, EcoBoost combines direct injection and turbocharging some 20 percent better fuel efficiency, 15 percent lower CO2 emissions and "superior driving performance versus larger displacement engines."] Although Schamel will toss diesel and hybrid powerplants a rhetorical bone– "hybrids, diesels and technologies such as plug-ins and fuel cells have a role"– EcoBoost it is, starting with the cetacean-snouted Lincoln MKS. From there, The Blue Oval Boyz promise "A 4-cylinder EcoBoost engine with the capability of producing more torque than a larger 6-cylinder engine — nearly an entire liter larger in displacement." Sounds like a plan. [thanks to jthorner for the link]

You'd think with an advertising budget of over $2b per year, GM could hire an advertising agency that "gets it." But you'd think wrong. We've seen plenty of "Pontiac Is Car," which is apparently is meant to appeal to illiterate Victorian-era men more accustomed to horses. And now we have an ad for the Cadillac Escalade that declares that it offers "The best highway fuel economy in its class." Do they know who potential buyers of Escalades are? Apparently an ad man was envisioning a fiscally-conscious, sensibly green guy sitting at the computer and having an epiphany. "Hey Miriam, call the dealer and cancel our Lexus hybrid test drive. The Escalade has the best highway fuel economy in its class." A proper Escalade advertisement would sell a combination of three things: instantly recognizable styling, supreme luxury, spaciousness. Maybe if we're lucky, this same agency will do ads for the iPod adapter in the new Buick Lacrosse. Or maybe Chevy's Corvette, which offers the biggest trunk in its class.

The print edition of Auto, Motor und Sport (March 13, 2008) carries an interview with GM Car Czar Bob Lutz. Regarding February sales, Maximum Bob told the German car mag “everyone was down strongly, including Toyota;” forgetting that Nissan and Honda were both up for the month. MB also “reveals” that GM’s hybrids are selling “increasingly better” and “the mild-hybrid system in the Malibu and Vue are selling well;” forgetting that GM sold just 577 hybrids in March, less than 30 of which were gas – electric ‘Bus and Vues. Lutz also says “Hybrids are not an economic or practical solution. Driving with two power sources leads to higher costs that the buyer can never recoup;” forgetting that the Prius can recoup its premium in less than five years. Note to Bob: the truth will set you free.

If ever two automotive companies deserved each other, it's Tesla Motors and Fisker Automotive. The former is the erstwhile maker of an electric roadster that's the dictionary definition of irony (the discrepancy between expectation and reality). The latter is a failed "coach-builder" (of hideously expensive re-sculpted SL and 6-Series) turned EV tree-hugger. And now, Autoblog breathlessly reveals that Henrik Fisker designed Tesla's imaginary WhiteStar sedan. Apparently, Tesla kept the design (for its next prospectus) and told Fisker to f-off on the production front. In case you thought this means anything, here's a bit from yesterday's press release from Fisker, which I couldn't quite blog because of a sudden attack of hype-related biliousness. "Fisker Automotive, Inc., a green American premium car company, today announced Fisker Italia as its first International importer. With plans to allocate more than 50 percent of its production to overseas sales, Fisker Automotive is poised to become a leading exporter of premium U.S. automobiles. Additionally, Fisker Automotive, maker of the first of its kind plug-in hybrid premium sports sedan, further announced it has received great interest from 44 North American markets in which it hopes to have retail representation." Get ready to vote for this one during next year's Bob Lutz award. 

Ford isn't wasting any time bragging about their bought and paid for surveys claiming that their quality is now on par with Toyota's. However, as the Detroit News reveals, FoMoCo's newfound reliability has dealers losing money on warranty work. The National Automobile Dealers Association estimates Ford dealers currently lose $30 on every new car they sell; they make up the difference through financing, add-ons, service and warranty work. [U.S. car dealers earned $7.7b on warranty repairs last year.] With warranty work shrinking, they'll have to earn more money elsewhere. To that end, Ford's introducing a line of aftermarket accessories called "Customs" focusing (so to speak) on "high-profit items like custom wheels and electronics." So in addition to paint protection, window etching and LoJack, Ford dealers will be hawking factory-authorized customization. Pimp my profits?