Those of you in Chicago, Dallas, or Boston who are anxiously awaiting your Chevy Volt can just keep waiting. In an email to the Detroit Free Press yesterday, the Volt's pater familias Bob Lutz revealed that if when it (finally) goes on sale, it'll be distributed first in California, then in Washington D.C., Florida, New York and "elsewhere on the East Coast." Apparantly the rest of the country gets whatever's left over. However, he warned "that's only current thinking, and the plans could change." Given the rate at which they've changed their minds on everything about the Volt from the styling to the release date, you can count on the final distribution plan looking nothing like he described.

GM isn't the only automaker suffering from corporate ADD; Chrysler's marketing department seems similarly afflicted. Yesterday, they announced yet another marketing schtick. Hot on the heels of "New Day," the Consumer Advisory Board and "Chrysler Listens" comes "If you can dream it, we can build it." That seems like a pretty bold promise coming from a company that can't even get a subcompact car to market. Anyway, the press release quotes Spinmaster Supreme Deborah Meyer: "Chrysler is moving on all fronts to engage our customers and harness their insights, inspirations and dreams as we move quickly to develop and refine new technologies and products." That's great! I'll take a hybrid passenger car with room for five that gets 45mpg in the city, goes 0-60 in under seven seconds and handles like an M3. There… I've dreamed it. When can you build it?

Bloomberg reports a recent survey that shows Ford's initial quality is at the same level as Toyota's and Honda's. The survey, which ranked problems per 1k vehicles in the first three months of ownership, showed Ford's vehicles scored 1,284 against Toyota's and Honda's "statistically equivalent" 1,250. GM and Chrysler didn't do so well, scoring 1,367 and 1,744 respectively. Of course, Ford will crow about their "achievement" in their "Drive One" ads. What they won't tell you, though, is that Alan Mulally signed the figurative check to RDA Group for performing the survey. That's right folks — Ford bought the survey in which they placed so highly. I vented the editorial spleen when they did the same thing last year, so all I'll say this time is that it didn't seem to help their sales then so I hope they get their money's worth this time.

BMW expects the U.S. to be their largest market for the X6 whatever-it-is when it goes on sale at the end of May for $52.5k. What this says about the tastes of the American car-buying public isn't quite clear but they're predicting half of the 40k annual production will find a home here. The next-largest markets will be the UK and Germany, which combined will only total about 10% of production. So who do they think will buy this… thing? Customers with astigmatism "who want a high-ride vehicle like an SUV but also sporty, coupe-style looks," according to Automotive News [sub]. The last time anyone attempted combining the two, we got the AMC Eagle SX-4 . Of course, there are those who would buy a Tata Nano if they stuck a BMW badge on it, so they probably won't have any problem unloading every one of these sedan/coupe/hatchback/crossover/SUV mish-mashes they build.

We've been flagging the fact that the sexy (to some) prototype electric – gas plug-in hybrid Chevrolet Volt failed its wind tunnel test by a mile. In other words, it will NOT look like the chopped roof show car still trotted-out at auto shows and featured heavily in GM's ads. (TTAC ME Frank Williams is convinced it'll look like a squished Malibu.) The Detroit News reports that "Larry Burns, GM's vice president for research and development, said that aspect of the vehicle's development is officially complete. But a group of reporters and analysts from around the country who will converge in Warren today won't likely get to actually see the car's design, even though they're in town for the latest news on GM's ambitious attempt to build an electrically driven car for the masses." Go on, give us a clue… "Designing the Volt was especially tricky because GM needed to fit a battery pack 'the size of a linebacker' into a car essentially the size of a Chevrolet Cobalt, with enough room for four passengers to fit comfortably inside, Burns said." Another one! "The finished Volt will bear a 'clear family resemblance' to the sporty vehicle initially shown at last year's Detroit auto show, Burns said. 'But it won't be a twin.'" TTAC will pay $500 for an exclusive first picture of the new Volt. 

One topic that TTAC has steered clear of is the constant liveblogging of announcements about Knight Rider. I realize that retro-1980s stuff is cool for some people, and Knight Rider is nominally about a car with gadgets. But seriously, who cares? It's not previewing some heretofore unseen production model, and it's got all the same boring action as modern action films with fake car-chase scenes so over the top they're just mundane. How many times can we watch a car leap off a bridge, enter orbit, fix a satellite, re-enter the atmosphere, stop at Taco Bell and then land on a Persian rug? The Knight Rider debut had 13 million viewers, which is comparatively pretty high for fiction shows (but a fraction of what American Idol gets), but much like initial car interest, new TV shows often do well the first time, then their ratings fall off a cliff. Worst of all, this "futuristic" car isn't even that cool. If they really wanted to appeal to the male youth demo, why not have KITT be an Evo instead of a Mustang? Oh right, because Knight Rider is a giant commercial.

Today's proof that the ethanol revolution is being kept alive by the GM kool-aid sippers comes from Texas, where the first dealership-owned E85 station just opened. Installed at a cost of a mere half a million dollars, the Classic Clean Fuels (not spelled with the always-klassy "K"?) nine-pump station serves up E10, E85 and biodiesel in suburban Dallas, right next door to the HUMMER dealership that owns it. "We'll offer a biofuel powertrain in every model we build by the end of 2010," HUMMER General Manager Martin Walsh said. "A Hummer's off-road capability and care for the environment are in no way mutually exclusive. This is simply one more step in our effort to promote responsible adventure." A two-hour 85-cents-per-gallon sale on E85 and a free tank of corn juice with the purchase of any new HUMMER are only the beginning of the marketing possibilities, as GM Media Online strains to use one dealership's actions as a measure of the success of the company. "This signals that GM and our dealers are trying hard to give our customers choices," says GM VP for R&D Larry Burns. "Down the road, we may even want to consider hydrogen dispensers at dealerships." Because building fuel-efficient vehicles is just too obvious.

The Ford Flex is a large, seven-passenger crossover "people mover" that's basically replacing the minivan in Ford's vehicle lineup. So who will Ford target with the marketing? Everyone but families, according to Automotive News [sub]. It seems that Ford's new marketing chief, Jim Farley, doesn't want the Flex seen as a mom-mobile minivan replacement (wait a minute… isn't that what most seven-passenger SUVs and CUVs are?), so they're exorcising kids and dogs from the ads. Rather than "limit(ing) the Flex's potential by painting it so visibly with the family brush," they want to pitch it as "a trendsetting vehicle for people wanting a stylish ride." They think the xB-with-a-thyroid-problem styling will appeal to consumers not needing a kid-schlepper because as brand manager Kate Pearce explained "you can't not want to be noticed when you drive down the road in a two-tone vehicle with really cool grooves down the side." 

Michigan-based ForeSee Results has set a new record for weirdest company name developed the first Automotive Website Satisfaction index, which shows that online car purchasing has plenty of room for improvement. The Detroit Free Press reports that Honda's website logged the best score among the six top brands in the 2,000 respondent survey, scoring an 80 compared to an industry-wide average of 78. The index uses methodology from the University of Michigan's American Customer Satisfaction Index and measures how effective the sites are in giving consumers the information they want, getting them into dealer showrooms and driving sales. With the the Detroit three, Honda, Toyota and Nissan all rating between 80 and 76, there's not much to differentiate between them, but there's plenty of opportunity for all six to improve to the 88 scored by Amazon.com. "You walk away from these Web sites feeling like they were designed by a committee," says Larry Freed, president and CEO of ForeSee Results. "There's a lot of noise on them."

In one of life's little ironies, Volkswagen is this year's "Official Vehicle" of Adolf Hitler's forgotten brainchild, the Olympic Torch Relay. With riots on the streets in Lhasa and reports of terrorism threats in China already marring the feel-good "One World, One Dream" vibes, the torch run was supposed to be a major  PR effort for the Chinese government and major sponsors. But things are not quite going to plan. The Guardian reports that pro-Tibet protesters broke a "tight security cordon" at Thursday's torch lighting ceremony, and are now planning multiple protests along the relay route. The convoy has already been held up several times due to protesters lying in front of the Vee-Dubs, and the Greek government is upping security in response to specific threats over the weekend. And the caravan of love hasn't even come close to the Nepal area yet where soldiers are already deploying to deal with protests. Maybe someone just needs to let everyone know that it's all good, man… these are green Volkswagens.

We don't usually crib from The Car Connection (TCC), thanks to an ancient feud involving TTAC's call for automotive websites to publicly declare their junketeering and press fleetage in their posts (a call that Edmunds kinda sorta answered). But credit where credit's due: the guys have stumbled upon a true jewel of a YouTube clip. This ad is more than just "I can't turn away from the weight challenged guy" fascinating. It represents a tacit admission from a car dealer that la règle du jeu have changed. Of course, we don't know if the Clay family dealerships put their fine words into practice, but they are the right words. And the ad doesn't scream or try to sell on price. We applaud Clay for their, uh, courage and [once again] ask TCC to tell their readers when they're sucking on the manufacturers' tit– although this is probably not the best time to use that metaphor.

Selling indulgences are we? Toyota has made a $20m donation to the Audubon Society, the single largest donation in the conservation society's history. At the same time (coincidence or what?), ToMoCo and AuDoBo are co-launching "TogetherGreen.org." The Car Connection says TogetherGreen programs will have three prongs (devil's trident perhaps?). The first "uses innovation grants to increase measurable land, water, and/or energy conservation." Part two: conservation fellowships. TogetherGreen will train up to 200 environmentalists that can become expert guides, organizers and role models. Part three funds volunteer days, which will be offered at Audubon's network of nationwide community centers, to present hands-on experience with environmental issues." Out of curiosity, what's the bet the Audubon society won't be criticizing Toyota's nine SUVs anytime in the near or distant future?

I've been kvetching about the overcylinderization of BMWs M cars for a while now. The first M3 had an inline four. The next two gens holstered straight sixes. And now the M3 has a high-revving V8. BMW's mighty M5 went from two generations of straight sixes to a V8 to a high-revving V10. All this horsepower excuses BMW from having to lighten its cars and focus on improving dynamics. It seems that BMW CEO Norbert Reithofer is thinking along the same lines. Speaking to the German magazine Auto Motor Und Sport, Reithofer said he wants to trim down to fewer cylinder engines in the M cars and the rest of the BMW range. In particular, he said that BMW's diesel V8 (which is rather popular over in Europe) would be replaced with a twin turbocharged I6. And he indicated that the M range would also probably be downsized as well. Turbocharging, not displacement and cylinders, would be the path to improvements in M cars' horsepower and weight distribution. (Not to mention CO2 emissions.) Hey, if it works for the Nissan GT-R…

After Lexus' slow start in Japan, Toyota has announced plans to introduce India to the premium brand within the next two years. To that end, India's Economic Times reports that the flagship Lexus LS sedan and LX SUV will lead the way, followed closely by the RX CUV. Toyota is investing heavily, planning stand-alone Lexus dealerships so that Lexus can "operate from a separate exclusive entity to maintain its niche brand value." As it has in the U.S., Toyota will align Lexus to compete against the usual (German) suspects: BMW, Audi, Mercedes and Porsche. Given the country's burgeoning nouveau riche class, India appears to be a great candidate for a brand with no "real" provenance or heritage. If Tata expands Jaguar/Land Rover distribution to India– and why wouldn't they?– the great tiger will be the scene of some interesting luxury car wars over the next decade.

The AP reports that Toyota is tackling slow Japanese sales with a new, 200-store and restaurant, auto-themed mall. The Tressa mall in Yokohama features car-shaped shopping carts, a model car store and musical robots. The mall's "anchors:" massive Toyota showrooms. A Toyota subsidiary has been operating an automall in Gifu prefecture since 1999. Despite the marketing razzmatazz, the root problems for Toyota– and Japanese car sales in general– remain. An analyst with Mizuho Investors Securities says that Japanese OEMs have ignored the competitive domestic market for too long in favor in favor of higher profits abroad. Atsushi Kawai says the neglect has created a cultural resistance to the enormous hassles of Japanese car ownership. "Domestic sales are a total disaster now," says Kawai. "A car used to symbolize a dream. People used to work hard to buy a car. These days, nobody is saying that. No one thinks a car is cool anymore."