Man, we are so going to the National Automobile Dealers Association convention next year; you know, if they let us in. Where else would you hear Ford Prez Mark "Tool Time" Fields say "Mercury has a place in our brand portfolio" and then refuse to assure the brand's dealers that Ford won't kill it? In fact, the AP [via MLive] reports that "Ford executives" told "a group of dealers that "new Mercury products are coming." Such as…? A Mariner hybrid? A Mercury version of the Edge? [crickets chirping] Let's try that again. "When asked what he would tell dealers who fear the brand could be discontinued, Jim Farley, Ford's group vice president for marketing, said they should look at the new products." Such as…? [cue: tumbleweeds] "They wouldn't give us any definite answers," revealed Steve Downing, owner of a Lincoln-Mercury dealership in Yuba City, Calif. "Obviously the future's with Lincoln." Too true Steve, but don't worry. As Fields says, it's all part of a "process." ""Any good business on a continuous basis looks at their portfolio. Any good business does that, not just automotive, and that's part of our process."

Over the last year or so, GM's spinmeisters have relied on fleet sales reduction as their number one excuse for declining sales and market share. Not to coin a phrase, the spin stops here. Speaking at the National Automobile Dealers Association (NADA) conference in Mean Old "Frisco, GM's Marketing Maven Mark LaNeve said he "does not foresee a further reduction in GM’s fleet sales." Ward's pegs GM's current fleet sales at "fewer than 600,000 units," which LaNeve defended as "very profitable now." Apparently, that's because GM lowered fleet volumes AND raised prices. LaNeve told the assembled dealers that the process was a bitch. "This was a tough conversation. We had to go to some of our best customers – these guys buy hundreds of thousands of vehicles at a time – and say, ‘we’re raising prices and you’ll probably get less.’" Note the word "probably." Wards reports "when it comes to hot-selling products, such as the redesigned ’08 Chevrolet Malibu, if retail sales are high enough, rental companies might not get the vehicle." Note the word "might." And also note the fact that TTAC readers have already reported seeing the new 'Bu on rental lots. In fact, I'm not sure I believe any of this.  

Automotive News [AN, sub] reports that Chrysler is stepping-up– as in scrapping and starting again– its plans to trim products and dealers. Much to Hyundai's delight, the new new plan is called Project Genesis. And in the beginning, there were three brands, 28 models and 3600 dealers. And lo, Chrysler decided to place all three brands (Dodge, Chrysler and Jeep) unto one dealership and, uh, "eliminate duplicate models on the same platform." Oh, and also "develop new ones in segments where it doesn't have current entries." To get the dealers on board (toss them overboard?) Chrysler is sending out its emissaries. "Business teams will descend [from on high] on those cities to help dealers arrange to buy or sell franchises to make the consolidation happen." And they means business. "Chrysler will then hold individual meetings with dealers and review whether they want to be a willing buyer or willing seller." On the other hand… "Project Genesis will not be a 'push program,' and there will be no deadlines or timetables. Nor will the company open the Cerberus bank account to dealers, Press said." So, how will Chrysler coerce dealers to buddy-up or die? Hell if I know.

You know, we give Autoblog a lot of grief for being the auto industry's bitch. And deservedly so. But every now and then the website of record gets a sudden rush of testosterone that makes us proud to share the autoblogosphere. Today's Detroit Free Press carries a boilerplate auto show story involving one former Toyota Prez (Jim Press) and one rear wheel-drive muscle car (Dodge Challenger SRT8). Price, waiting list, Mustang throwdown ("We'd rather run like a thoroughbred than ride like a pony"), yada yada yada. And then Chrysler Vice Chairman Jim Press has his say. And then Autoblog's Damon Lavrinc takes the Chrysler exec to the woodshed. "Press expounded on the Challenger's virtues, saying that the SRT8 has a higher top speed (170 mph) than BMW's M5. Kind of a misnomer considering that the M5's speed limiter keeps the BMW sedan below 155 mph – unleashed, it has the potential of doing 205 mph. The Freep also quoted Press as saying that the Challenger has more torque than the Porsche 911 Turbo. Ummm… no. The 6.1-liter Hemi V8 produces 420 lb.-ft. of twist compared to the 911 Turbo's 460 lb.-ft….'When you sit inside, it makes you feel younger and richer than you are.' Younger? Maybe. Richer? Not quite Mr. Press. We've seen the interior and it's hardly what you'd call luxurious, let alone exciting." You go boy!

We repeat: conflict of interest renders Intellichoice's data inherently suspect. So, Bloomberg [via Boston.com] reports that "General Motors Corp., the biggest US automaker, gained ground on Toyota Motor Corp. in an annual survey of ownership costs including measures such as sticker price and resale value. GM led in three vehicle categories, up from one last year, while Toyota again won four of the eight total awards." While we're disappointed that Bloomberg takes Intellichoice's choices at face value, their cheerleading conclusion is especially galling (to this gall bladder-less cynic). "The results lend credence to GM's goal of improving quality and boosting resale values by curbing incentive spending and sales to rental-car companies." This despite the fact that the Corvette was the only GM passenger car to receive a nod. Which didn't stop Intellichoice's spinmeister from bolstering Bloomberg's BS. "Word is starting to get out that if you buy a Chevy, you're not destined for troubles the way you were 10 years ago." Here are the full "results."

Intellichoice is a scam. Their owners– Source Interlink Media– also own Motor Trend, a buff book with about as much editorial independence as Marines Magazine. Intellichoice pretends to be an objective number cruncher, focusing on cost of ownership calculations. Every year, they announce their "Best Overall Value of the Year" (BOVY) awards at the Chicago Auto Show. Methodology? "This insightful value rating factors the accumulated ownership costs of depreciation, maintenance, repairs, fuel, fees, financing, and insurance to identify the true standout models in each class." Needless to say, Intellichoice doesn't reveal the specific calculations involved. And if that's not enough to convince you that the whole thing's a con, consider that the VW R32 just won the BOVY award for the "Base Sport" category. We call bullshit. The R32 is the all wheel-drive uber-Golf (base sport?) that's over-priced, over-produced and over here. Check out this chart from Yahoo Autos comparing the relative predicted residual values for the R32 vs. the GTI (never mind any number of Japanese base sport competitors), and then tell me the fix ain't in. Shame on VW– and any other manufacturer– for using (paying?) Intellichoice to promote their vehicle. 

Judging by list prices, ignoring the presence or absence of any other options and any thoughts of political correctness, which U.S.-spec vehicle offers the most horsepower per dollar? I always assumed it was the 300 horsepower Ford Mustang GT, which clocks in at about $26k. Nope. Its $/hp ratio is $86 per pony. It's a good buy, but not the bang-for-the-buck champ. Remember: lowest $/hp wins.

Pontiac G8 – 360 horses – $83/hp
Dodge Magnum SRT8 – 425 horses – $89/hp
Dodge Caliber SRT4 – 280 horses – $82/hp
Chevy HHR SS – 260 horses – $88/hp
Shelby GT500 – 500 hp – $86/hp

But it's when you get into the trucks that the money-power ratio comes into focus.

Nissan Titan – 317 horses – $82/hp
Toyota Tundra – 381 horses – $81/hp

Yup, the true power mongers however are pickup trucks. The Mopar option is the Dodge Ram 1500, which brings you a 340 horsepower Hemi for only $25k– a fantastic ratio of $73/hp. But the crown goes to… the Ford F250 Super Duty, equipped with a 362-horse 6.8-liter V10. Listing at $24,175, that's a $67/hp combo. Screw the Dodge Challenger ($89/hp) rebirth. The muscle car champ is still a Ford truck.

Marketing Daily reports that Lexus is set to tout their mondo hybridity in a new ad campaign. The mag says the automaker's new hybrid-touting TV spot shows a classroom "where a teacher suddenly pauses as kids are doing the alphabet because the h has gone missing; a guy looks quizzically at a sign for a "otel"; a woman typing on a computer finds that the H key is blank, as is the h in Yahoo; a pickup truck in the desert passes a sign reading "Welcome to Uta"; a TV announcer reports a story sans the letter h." The announcer reveals that all the h's have "simply found a better place to live; one that looks forward, not back." Which must please Yahoo no end. Or maybe it does; Lexus uses Yahoo! Autos Groups for the forum accompanying its new website, ThePowerofH.com. A site that tells us that "h" is "the power of change" that stands for "an unshakable belief that every problem has a solution and technology will lead us to it." I guess these guys missed all those B-grade sci fi movies that disproved that theory but good. Meanwhile, here's my fave Lexus hybrid ad. [NB: I smoke drugs.] 

If you build a "sport" version of a CUV does it then become an SCUV? Or is it a CSUV? Whatever you call it, Bloomberg tells us Ford's planning a sport version of the Edge CUV called, strangely enough, the Edge Sport. Just what constitutes a "sport" version is a matter of some debate. (Well it is now.) To pistonheads, a sport model usually implies more power, better brakes and improved handling. To Ford it means standard 20-inch wheels (optional double dubs) wearing low-profile, 40-series Pirelli Scorpion Zero tires. And an "eight-piece Edge Sport body kit… integrated fog lamps and a lower grille insert… sport badging, polished dual exhaust tips, 'foundry gray' smoked headlamp and taillamp lenses… dark gray leather seats [that] feature unique suede-feel patterned inserts in a combination of light and dark gray." Oh, and "an appealing etched metal effect on the instrument panel center console." After the Blue Oval Boyz introduce the Edge Sport at the Chicago auto show, the not-so-mean machine will go on sale later this year as a 2009 model, aimed at buyers who want their factory rides pre-pimped. Or it that semi-pimped? Semi-pre-pimped? Half caf semi-pre-pimped? Are we there yet?

Cadillac is like the guy who hits his head against the wall because it's fun to stop. Only they forgot the stopping bit. Australia's GoAuto reports that GM's premier luxury brand will not do the right thing and send the brand-defiling sales flop known as the Cadillac BLS back to whatever corner of Hell is reserved for hideous mutants. "An American GM insider suggested to GoAuto that the next-generation BLS – which may be made in America or Mexico since it shares much of its Epsilon II architecture with the next-generation Saab 9-5 and 9-3 due in 2009 and 2010 respectively – will have bespoke bodywork as well as a stronger driving character, as Cadillac attempts to redress two of the biggest criticisms levelled at this vehicle." See? They just don't get it, do they? Meanwhile, according to GM Car Czar Bob Lutz, the new "entry level" Cadillac ATS "is, or would be, about the size of a BMW 1 Series – maybe just a tiny bit bigger to enable larger wheels.” Based on GM's new rear wheel-drive Alpha platform, no less. Maybe. Yup, you guessed it. "Alpha is still under consideration, but we haven’t kicked off any design work or any engineering work because we have to sort our way through this 35mpg task." Maybe someone should tell Lutz and co. that a bad plan is a whole lot better than no plan.  

Just as TTAC's Samir Syed was getting himself all hot and bothered about the car price differential between new cars in Canada and the U.S., Toyota ran him a nice cold bath. The automaker is slashing its Canadian prices to reflect what Stephen Beatty, managing director of Toyota Canada, calls the 'new normal.' Driving.ca reports that ToMoCo CA's cutting the manufacturer's suggested retail price (msrp) on 16 Toyota and Lexus models by a range of $750 and $8,100. Some examples (all in Canadian dollars): a Yaris hatchback drops five per cent ($750) to $13,165; the RAV4  falls 6.8 per cent ($2,000) to $27,400; the Tacoma pickup truck drops 10 per cen ($2,290) to $20,470; and the Lexus IS sports car decreases 13 per cent ($4,650) to $31,900. Beatty denies that a two percent drop in Toyota sales spurred the move. "This isn't about weakness in the marketplace… There is a difference structurally today in the marketplace from where we were last year." Oh, do the math and the RAV4 is still more expensive in Canada than the U.S. I guess the new normal is the same old you-know-what, only less. 

The unidentified GM spokesmouth quoted above is supposedly spinning the news that GM has decided to kill its rear wheel-drive (RWD) plans for Canada's Camaro factory. The move spikes the never-really-approved (but endlessly discussed) RWD Impala and Buick LaCrosse models, and the new V8 engine slated to power both models. As The Car Connection rightly points out, the platform change also raises serious questions about the Camaro's pricing and profitability. Those of you who've been following this saga will appreciate the fact that this is the fourth time GM's extra-Camaro RWD plans have been resurrected– and then terminated. That we know of. Once again, GM says the decision reflects the prospect of new, higher federal fuel economy standards. Canadian Auto Workers (CAW) President Buzz Hargrove was quick to point out that it had nothing to do with the fact that the Camaro factory is a high-cost union shop. “We anticipated that would be followed by other rear-wheel-drive vehicles, but the money they spent on the plant makes it a flex plant, so you can build both front-drive and rear-wheel-drive in the facility." Yes, well, there's been no announcement on that front. Nor is any expected– at least until after the CAW's contract negotiations are complete. Is this any way to run a railroad?

So, here it is. Click here for Audi's new Superbowl head. I mean, ad. It's a recreation of the scene from the Godfather wherein the Hollywood producer Jack Woltz refuses Don Corleone's request to cast Johnny Fontane (a.k.a. Frank Sinatra) in his new war film. Woltz wakes up with his favorite horse's head in his bed. In this case, the actor wakes up to a car grill and some greasy bits, courtesy of Audi and the new R8. OK, hang on here. If I read this right, the guy in the bed is a luxury car buyer who refuses to consider the R8 as his new luxury car. The fact that producer discovers a generic grill– not a Merc, BMW, Rolls, Bentley, whatever– is a MAJOR wimp-out from Audi. The fact that Audi is portrayed as a criminal enterprise that terrorizes its own [potential] customers is a MAJOR violation of the old adage "never insult the customer." And what does this do to "redefine" luxury? Nothing. We'll be talking to an expert on commercials tomorrow. But as far as I can tell, this Audi ad shows a lack of originality (ipso facto). Worse, it casts Audi, a German automaker, as a bunch of evil bastards. Still, nice car. I give it a D. Meanwhile, one wonders how much Audi paid TTAC reviewer Jay Shoemaker's boss to inflict this homage on a suspecting public.

Under former Toyota Prez Jim Press, Chrysler has decided to get a bit more touchy-feeling with their customers. Nothing wrong with that. Their new blog, Chryslerlistens.com, follows GMNext.com's desire to pay lip service to web 2.0 establish closer contact between automaker and consumer. In case you thought Chrysler might begin this exercise in e-Glasnost with a mea culpa of some kind (as if) or at least a little humility, a writer named Jordan Graham opens the "dialogue" with a mighty blast of bombast. "In case you hadn't heard (living in a cave, perhaps?), Chrysler has unleashed the mother of all promotions, aptly titled 'New Day.' Calling this a 'major deal' would be akin to calling the Jeep® Wrangler 'outdoorsy.'" Wow; insult the customer to draw them into a conversation. I've got one thing to say about that: 0 comments. Anyway, we Googled the unattributed Jordan. LinkedIn tells us that he's a "Writer – Electronic and Broadcast Media; Executive Speeches at Chrysler LLC." In the past, he was "Marketing Communications Intern at Michigan Suburbs Alliance; Marketing Communications Intern at Michigan Veterinary Specialists." Some might say Jordan's elevation to spokesperson for Chryslerlistens.com indicates the company's gone to the dogs, but I couldn't possibly comment. Anyway, here's Graham's intro to this ad: "Without further ado, some visual aids to help you process this mind-blowing development…" 

According to mlive.com, auto industry analysts predict that the hybrid “premium” and consumer acceptance of $3 a gallon gas will dampen near-term demand for gas – electric vehicles. J.D. Power and Associates senior manager Michael Omotoso says the arrival of the next gen Prius will revive the genre. "In 2009 we see hybrid sales going over 600,000 units." Over at AutoNation, some 70 percent of car shoppers inquire about hybrids– but only two percent end up buying one. Spokesman Marc Cannon claims the Prius has been successful because "Americans really like that fact that the Prius stands out and it's a social statement; if you have a Prius, everyone knows it's a hybrid." And what of battery-powered cars? "The lithium-ion battery is nowhere near ready for showtime," says Brett Smith, a hybrid analyst at the Center for Automotive Research. Still, the Volt hype has raised expectations– and how. "Whoever sees those concept cars thinks it's ready to go." As Albert Einstein said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."