If we (and I'm using that in The New York Times Op Ed "Royal We" sense of the word) had any doubts that The Big Apple is the locus of America's anti-car jihad, scribe Hope Cohen is determined to remove them. In the provocatively titled "No Parking, Ever," Cohen argues that Hizzoner has the "four wheels bad" religion, but lacks sufficient zeal. "Under Mayor Michael Bloomberg… the department has been encouraging alternative transportation by reassigning street space long reserved for cars and trucks to bikes, buses and pedestrians. To accommodate all this movement, the city can no longer be as accommodating as it has been toward stationary vehicles. Before traffic reaches a standstill, as it threatens to do, the city should start phasing out curbside parking." Deftly played, Hope. As is this little carrot. "It is vital that vehicles move smoothly and quickly through New York City’s streets, delivering people and goods to their destinations. Making room for vehicles that are not moving should be a far lower priority." I can understand why they don't, but it really grinds my gears (Jonny) that anti-car advocates don't just come out and call for a passenger car ban. 'Cause you know that's what they really, really want.

We reported earlier on the gold standard in this genre: Scott Burgess' Aspen Hybrid review. Clearly, USA Today car reviewer James R. Healey suffers from the same truth-telling conundrum: how do you diss a hybrid, even if it's a ridiculous idea whose absurdity is only matched by its shoddy execution? You know there's trouble right from the headline: "Chrysler's hybrid SUVs pull in near front of pack." Near? What pack? The pack of hybrid SUVs? Yup. "What makes Chrysler models superior to GM's?" Healey asks. Talk about the wrong question. (The answer is price, apparently.) After that bogus comparo, Healey gets down to business, and it ain't good for ChryCo. "Starting from a dead stop was lazy unless you pushed hard on the throttle, thus undoing the fuel-economy benefits (but generating lots of fun from the willing and eager Hemi V-8). Once underway, the hybrid's switching among modes was accompanied by tiny jerks and shimmies… As with most hybrids [?], there's a shudder when the gas engine fires up to aid the electrics, but it was barely noticeable in the Durango. The bulky battery pack under the second-row seat was a hurdle for access to the third row." Oh, and "Quiet: But electric motor whines at low speed." 

GM Car Czar Bob Lutz' infamous pre-Katrina remark, "Rich people don't care about gas," has once again come back to haunt him. This time it arrives in the form of a $71,685 two-mode hybrid; a rebadged Chevy Suburban SUV called the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid. Here's the problem: Bob's remark implied that rich people are environmentally unconscious (and, by extension GM). If that's true– and I'm not saying it isn't– why would anyone pay an extra $14,795 (over the base 'Slade) or $3600 (for the two-mode propulsion system's premium) to buy a gas – electric version of the Escalade? Is it because they care about looking like they care about the price of gas? And if that's right– and I'm not saying it is– wasn't Maximum Bob wrong in the first place? And if these rich people really cared about looking like they cared about the price of gas, why would they buy a hybrid SUV (20 mpg city) instead of something more fuel efficient (if a lot less big and infinitely less bling)? How many rich, luxury-loving, boat-towing, gas price or carbon-footprint-aware SUV drivers are there, anyway? Last question (I swear): how much did this doomed PR-mobile cost GM? OK, one more. How long before those hybrid stickers and badges show up on eBay? [First photo of one of these in the wild– customer owned– gets an honorable mention.]

Given that GM terminated the HUMMER brand not long after its dealers spent millions constructing Quonset hut-style shoppertainment centers, a Saturn showroom makeover may not be welcome news for fans of the ailing "import fighter." But there it is, via The Detroit News' John McCormick. Needless to say, Motown's Big Mac is down with the design re-think. Which, upon careful reading, is no biggie (unless you're looking for an excuse for a junket to Connecticut). "All this research has translated into careful adjustments to the way a Saturn showroom is laid out; how chairs and desks are positioned, how computer monitors are presented, how accessories are presented and so on. For example, the sales desks have no drawers, two chairs on both sides and a computer monitor that is angled so the customer can see it easily. Shoppers are encouraged to surf the internet for competitive deals right in front of the sales person… Overall, the showroom design puts more emphasis on people than cars, which are arrayed to the outside, leaving the center area for seating and displays." Meanwhile… Despite Saturn's latest ad campaign and refreshed Euro-style product line-up, Roger Smith's baby racked-up just 17,603 sales in July. That's down 13.6 percent for the month, -17.9 percent for the year.  

It's hard to believe that General Motors was once the world's largest company. It's even harder to believe GM was once the world's most profitable company. If there's one factor connecting the GM money factory of old with today's sinking ship, it's a sense of a boundless (senseless?) optimism married to a mien of manifest destiny. One wonders if GM could produce something as… seamless as this PR piece today. Sadly, yes. [Any resemblance between this film and a hypnotic smoking cessation video are entirely obvious.]

A month or two ago, I had the brilliant idea to enter a rental car into a car show, and see what I would win. The Avis Hummer H3 I spent untold hours detailing won first place in the truck category. Being only slightly insane, I decided to try another rental car challenge (due to my Porsche still being in various pieces), and enter a weekend special into an SCCA Autocross. Nearly winning my division last year, I believed that winning was mainly due to the driver, not the car, so of course I would come out on top no matter what I was driving. $78 later in rental fees and race entry fees, I had a 2008 Subaru Outback, with a 173bhp, AWD and lots of cargo space. Despite ripping nearly 150lbs of weight out of the car, the Subie couldn't have been more disastrous. The Sportshift always held the wrong gear, and wouldn't let you shift manually under extreme maneuvers. The steering became so imprecise that I was no longer driving the car, I was guiding it. The AWD made the car understeer, or oversteer, in a completely unpredictable manner. The lack of low end power had me uttering strings of curses upon exiting nearly every corner. I was easily outrun by a similar 2.5-liter equipped Impreza. I was outrun by a Honda Civic, a Dodge Neon, and an automatic-equipped Toyota Echo. And then we loaded the wagon up with five people, kept to the starting line, and learned the joys of e-braking through the corners, where the Outback stopped skittering, and literally "hopped" around the bends. As a race car, the Scooby gets one-star. But I suppose you already guessed that.

The WTF factor out of GM simply knows no bounds. The AP reports Saab's decision to reduce warranties for 2009 and later model year vehicles. Saab already is in a sales tailspin and is losing GMAC lease support. It seems to me that if a vehicle is designed, built and maintained properly there should be very few powertrain failures between the four year, 50,000 mile "new" Saab warranty and the five year, 100,000 mile warranty in effect for 2008 model year vehicles. True enough, most of Saab's competitors offer warranties similar to the new Saab plan… but Saab is very much the underdog is this market and needs some kind of persuasive selling point. Why exactly does ANYONE buy a Saab instead of a Lexus, Infiniti, Acura, Audi, BMW, Mercedes or even Volvo? GM spokesperson Joanne Krell "said lower costs and a more competitive edge over other importers were factors in the decision." Apparently Saab expects a lot of powertrain failures between years four and five, otherwise there wouldn't be much cost savings to be had. As to the "competitive edge", WTF indeed.

Looking for a campaign bounce before Obama sweeps the media away for his world tour, McCain is confronting the stagnant economy right at its rotten core. But touring the GM Design Center Dome at Warren, McCain may not have uncovered anything energizing for his campaign to latch on to. In fact, early reports seem to indicate that the Senator from Arizona is hardly bending over backwards for the General– or should that be forwards? At an early-morning town hall meeting at GM's technical center, McCain reversed his position on California's emissions regulation, saying "I guess at the end of the day I support the states being able to do that." The gaffery didn't end there. The Detroit News reports that McCain got to visit GM's Volt display, where he was joined by the top brass (CEO Rick Wagoner, Bob Lutz and pals). McCain thought it would be a great place to tout his "Lexington Plan," which includes a $5k tax incentive for buyers of zero-emissions vehicles. But without even entering the "long tailpipe" debate, McCain forgot to remember that the Volt actually has an internal combustion engine. Which means that it ain't exactly zero emissions. Luckily, GM employees have become accustomed to disingenuous pronouncements from their higher-ups. "It'd be nice to have a friend in Washington," said Don Jamison, 49, a GM bumper systems engineer. "Of course, he's politicking for votes, so he's going to be telling us all kinds of things." Roger and me that. 

According to The Gainesville Sun, Mark Sexton was the director/actor for the local Hippodrome State Theatre. In August 2004, Alachua County hired Sexton as their official, part-time spokesman, at a salary of $50,298 (now $59,475). After a couple of tropical storms, County Manager Randall Reid authorized a county-paid car for Sexton AND "unlimited use" for his personal Prius. So now… "The accident happened on Christmas night 2006. Sexton was on vacation in Miami when he struck Miami Beach resident Felix Lopez while Lopez – who was dressed as a woman – was crossing the street. A police report states the officer was unable to determine who was at fault and that no injuries were reported at the scene. Sexton did not tell county officials of the accident until about a month later, when a legal notice was sent to the county. Lopez has since sued the county. Commissioners discussed whether to defend Sexton in the suit and eventually decided to do so. Sexton said he had consulted an attorney and threatened to sue if the county did not defend him." Needless to say, this is just one example of the nationwide scrutiny suddenly facing government workers' use of taxpayer-funded vehicles (e.g. LA County's $433m fleet of 12,780 vehicles) now that gas prices have soared. As for Sexton, "he doesn't remember how much gas was in the tank when he left for Miami but added he is pretty certain he bought gas with his own money during the trip." And no, this is not the plot of a Carl Hiassen novel.

The great state of North Carolina recently began issuing license plates beginning with the letters W, T and F. Reasonable, grown-up adults who received these plate numbers at first didn't even bat an eye at the text-slang exclamation adorning their license plates. Until their children started giggling. AFP reports that one North Carolinan with the WTF plates "wasn't hip to the Internet-age significance of her new license plate," but "developed this real self-consciousness" after catching her grandchildren laughing at the hilarity of it all. Rather than enjoying a good ROTFL, this elementary school teacher just did what everyone else in elementary school does when kids mock them on the playground: run crying to the state government. Thanks to one plateholder's stunning lack of a sense of humor, the state of North Carolina is now recalling all of the 9,999 "WTF plates" issued. Including WTF-5505 which was being used by the DMV as a media prop for stories about the state's switch from blue plate lettering to red. The NC DMV has pledged to thoroughly vet every future license plate combination to weed out any inappropriate text-message acronyms (at taxpayer expense). Note to DMV: AYSOS?