The Better World Club differentiates itself from other roadside/travel services by dint of its "dedication to preserve the environment." We're talking discounts on hybrid rentals and green hotels/eco-travel; the nation's only bicycle roadside assistance ("service for you and your bicycle up to 30 miles annually with a maximum of two service calls per covered member, per year"), free Carbon Credits with auto insurance, one percent of revenues (gross? net?) donated to environmental cleanup/advocacy and "a unique policy agenda includes supporting state attempts to regulate autos to reduce greenhouse gases." And just in case that isn't politically correct enough– and I'm thinking it is– Better World is now proud to offer married gay couples free membership. "We want to congratulate all the same-sex partners who are taking the big step," says Mitchell Rofsky, BWC President. "We didn't think you'd ever get married!" Don't worry if you're a gay couple in a state without gay marriage, or a breeder. BWC will "even" offer opposite-sex couples the same wedding present. "Gay marriage is good for everyone, so we're including all the June brides… grooms… spouses… whatever!" says Rofsky. In other words, BWC's using gay marriage to generate a fundamentally generic press release to lure media coverage. Mission accomplished. 

One of my stated goals in life is to never spend a minute in a courtroom. However, if I had a child at El Camino High School in Oceanside, CA, I would be suing the teacher's lounge out of the district and the donut holes out of the CHP. On a Monday morning last month, 20 classrooms received visits from uniformed California Highway Patrol officers who informed them that 26 of their classmates had been killed in drunk driving accidents over the weekend. As was to be expected, many of the students became hysterical. But here's the catch — it was a joke. Ha ha, fooled you! The plan was to keep the hoax up all day and announce the deception at a lunchtime rally. The best laid plans of mice and men… Turns out the students were so traumatized by the hoodwink, many teachers began telling them the truth. Though, not all. Especially students who weren't in the one of the twenty classrooms "participating" in the "lesson" — these students heard about their fellow classmates' deaths in the hallway between classes and had all day to ruminate on them. One 15-year-old, who I am sure speaks for both the school district and the cops, puts it this way, "You feel betrayed by your teachers and administrators, these people you trust. But then I felt selfish for feeling that way, because, I mean, if it saves one life, it's worth it." Oh yeah, totally worth it.

"We, therefore, the undersigned citizens of the United States, petition the U.S. Congress to act immediately to lower gasoline prices (and diesel and other fuel prices)* by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries." The 450k e-signatures on this petition at americansolutions.com indicate that a large number of Americans favor punching holes in The Land of the Free to free us from dependency on foreign oil. Chuck Norris, last seen supporting presidential candidate Mike Huckebee, is down with that. He's signed, and sent a far less pithy message to our Texas elected lawmakers: "Congress, get off your gas, and drill!" The bullet points ('natch) list restrictions on domestic oil production and some side effects (e.g. American Airlines going out of business.) "If there isn't a conspiracy going on here, someone needs to make a movie about one!" Norris announces, pimping for work. At least he's conciliatory at the end "Congratulations Congress – you're completely failing us."

Also in today's Washington Post: an profile of Chevrolet Cavalier fans. Yes, fans of a car that would have made TTAC's Ten Worst (had the award existed then). The article starts with the sad fate of the last production Cav (MIA) and quotes from Edmunds such as "the worst [drive] we've experienced in recent memory", "homely," "[engine vibration] like a caffeine addict going through withdrawal," and "seats are uncomfortable for any length of time."  WaPo then heads to the flat trailing end of the automotive bell curve with fan testimonials, pimped rides, and the disturbing fact that the Cav is #2 (after Camaro) on CarDomain's directory of vehicles with >9000 entries.  The print edition managed to devote just about a whole page to this article, and it shows: serious padding about the apartment complex where a Cav tuner and his family live, the dozens of mods and hundreds of related pictures on his iPod. Click here, if you dare.

San Francisco columnist Mark Morford has a round-up of doom and gloom on the energy front. After six paragraphs spent telling us that gas prices are high, staying high and might go higher– with enough links to build a good size fence– Morford finally gets down to the business of entertainment. Here's what the high energy future looks like to a man whose official bio proclaims that he writes about "politics, pop culture, sex, music, design, a wry and punch-drunk universe, vibrators, scotch, media, spirituality and small European cars. And sometimes, genital grooming." Got it? Right… "Carpooling will soar. People will walk, bike, scooter, take the bus, work shorter weeks, stroll and amble and hum a merry tune, reacquaint themselves with the neighborhood, telecommute, vacation locally, have more phone sex. They will shop locally to avoid skyrocketing shipping prices, buy less plastic, recycle. The era of cheap oil that enabled hideous urban sprawl will now quite possibly flip over and begin to enable the exact reverse … whatever that is." That's about it for the good bits. The rest is your boilerplate Big Oil Bush-bashing fear-mongering tripe. Still, was it as good for you as it was for me?

When Fred Bredermeyer was 18, Chicago's Nikko Hotel gave him a job as a parking attendant. Little did the Indiana native know that he was about to embark on a career that would earn him the ultimate accolade from The International Parking Institute. Not only did Fred get the nod, but his department– the Miami Parking Authority (MPA) won "2008 Parking Organization of the Year." Obviously, I had to call Fred to congratulate him on his victory and find out what it takes to stand at the pinnacle of parking profession. There's lot of blockbuster info in the podcast, but here's a couple of off-the-air tidbits. Fred doesn't know if the Sunshine State's license test includes parallel parking and "Miami doesn't have a parking problem. It has a walking problem." Oh, and I forgot to tell Fred that "put my money in your meter baby, so it won't run down" is one of my favorite lyrics of all time. So now he knows.

GM's turnaround hoe-down– complete with disastrous May sales numbers– is less than 24 hours away. Ahead of that blessed event, the General's generals are busy shoring-up the company's defenses. Today's preemptive announcement: Chevy's getting a new small car! The General's spinmeisters chose Automotive News [AN, sub] as the PR vehicle of choice: "General Motors will unveil a Chevrolet compact car at an auto show this fall, with production slated to begin early next year, say sources familiar with GM's product program." Whoa! Yes, this pint-sized Hail Mary will be a Delta [platform] queen built in Lordstown, Ohio. The "we don't know if it'll replace the Cobalt" compact car will use GM's new turbocharged 1.4-liter four cylinder global engine– shared amongst Chevrolet, Pontiac, Saturn, Opel and Daewoo. Ever the unquestioning GM shill optimist, AN predicts that "the Lordstown plant could build cars for export." Meanwhile, GM's considering bringing the Beat minicar stateside. Pysch! No really. "It isn't definitively on there as a go product," says AM's editors source, "but there is a lot of inside chatter and it's on the consideration list." 

Not content to make money the old fashioned way, a team of MIT grads has been hard at work for the past couple of years working on a two passenger flying car drivable airplane. Terrafugia's Transition recently took a drubbing on Slashdot for even attempting to reconcile the oftentimes contradictory goals of aviation vs. automotive engineering. The CEO was kind enough to respond to his detractors here, stressing ad nauseum that future Darwin Awards will be strictly limited to licensed pilots. Eons ago (in TTAC time), Jonny Lieberman pointed out the limitations of carbon fiber in car construction. And we could go on forever about the bicycle tire-sized contact patches, side-wind gusts from an oncoming train of curious SUV drivers, lack of suspension travel, and the challenge of manually parallel parking the damn thing (oh, and downforce? what's that?!). At least the Terrafugia Transition sounds a lot better than the Flying Pinto which killed its inventors during its maiden flight. Good luck, guys, I'm looking forward to the resulting Hollywood treatment.

Good luck buying an Audi R8. There's an 18-month– or longer– waiting list. Or you could pay dealers demanding a $50 – $80k price premium. Hence the reason that Automotive News' [sub] industry-wide list of factory incentives set off my WTF alarm. As usual, a handful of Audi finance deals are listed under the VW heading. Until July 2, Audi dealers are offering the Audi A3, RS4 and S4 with 2.9 percent financing (qualified buyers, first born as collateral, etc.). Ingolstadt's American minions are also offering 0.9 – 2.9 percent financing on A4s. And well-heeled enthusiasts can pick-up an $109k (six-speed, base) Audi R8 with 5.34 – 5.85 percent financing. AN didn't list any specifics: length of financing, down payments or whether it was a purchase or lease. And Audi's web site doesn't list the deal with their other "special offers." So now I'm wondering: if they're in such short supply and such high demand, why would Audi be offering finance deals? And would that finance rate really sway someone shopping the $100k+ market to buy an R8 over a Porsche 911 Turbo?  

It might change later, but as of this specific moment in human history, it is, officially, a slow automotive news day. While I'm sure this German court order will trigger a class-action lawsuit– call D'Olivera and Sons on the Hurtline now— I can't help but think there's a bigger car story out there, somewhere. So to speak. Anyway, meanwhile, here's the guitas [via, get this, The Earth Times]: "A German judge has ordered a Volvo dealer to compensate a man with big feet because there was not enough space around his new car's accelerator pedal, a court spokesman said Monday. The man, a travelling salesman, sought and won a 5-per-cent reduction in the price of his Volvo C70 coupe by arguing that his leather shoes, European size 47 for a foot 29.4 centimetres long, did not fit beneath the dashboard." Beneath the dashboard? Either that's a very small dashboard or my European shoe size converter is on the fritz. So… "Under a court-supervised settlement, the buyer obtained a 1,700- euro (2,650-dollar) refund to pay for a snug pair of sneakers that just fitted into the space, as well as his time changing back into street shoes each time he got out of the car to meet clients." Jesus! Is that what a pair of sneakers costs in Germany? And what's this guy's billing rate, anyway? And doesn't the clock start when you meet the client? "A judge in the court at Wiesloch in Baden-Wuerttemberg state said size 47 was not abnormally large and the Swedish-made car should have catered for big feet." Would you like your foot massage now, Mein Herr?

Manufacturers' blogs are a terrific development. Not because anyone other than OCD automotive journalists, company flacks and devoted fanboys actually read them (check out the number of comments on GMNext or the quality of the [pre-screened] criticism on Bob Lutz' GM Fastlane). No, the cod web 2.0 carmakers' sites are valuable because they reveal their originators' view of themselves. So when I encountered a video blog entry on GMNext titled "That's a Saturn!", I clocked the spear (a.k.a. exclamation mark) and reckoned it was boilerplate PR. Pressing play revealed Saturn's brand managers had aimed a camera-shaped nine mil at their feet. The company debadged a Saturn Astra, parked it in the locus of American car culture (the California coast line), and asked a carefully edited selection of passers-by to identify the brand. Guess what happens GMNext? "The interior looks like some of the newer Toyotas." "I feel like it's a Toyota." "Looks like a Mazda." "Either a Honda or a Toyota." "I'd go with Honda." "Honda." "Actually I changed my mind. It's a Dodge." When the actual brand is revealed, the interviewer asks "Does it look like your run-of-the-mill Saturn?" Ouch. Meanwhile, one wonders what comments got left on the cutting room floor (It's an Opel Astra) and why in the world anyone would ever want their product mistaken for a Dodge. [NB: We're going to add a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot award to The Bob Lutz Award TTACNext time out.]

File this under "News That Effects Me Personally." As in, "Those city hall pricks are taking tacos out of my mouth." Where I live in North Eastern LA, there are– or rather were— six taco trucks with a one mile stretch along the same road. As The New York Time rightly reports, each one offers uniquely delicious fare. Except for that one up on 51st — their tacos suck. But the other five, man… So here's the dirt straight from the hungry horse's mouth. Restaurants are complaining (and have been complaining) that the "roach coaches" are stealing customers because their food is so cheap. My new mortal enemy, county supervisor Gloria Molina, is pushing through the ordinance that will require taco trucks to move every hour. Effectively putting them out of business. Why? Henchman Gerry Hertzberg claims the trucks represent a "big quality of life issue." Whatever that means. Taco truck owner Jose Naranjo puts it best, "We are poor people feeding other poor people." Yeah, and me! The ordinance goes into effect today. This is a total tragedy as one truck in particular serves-up the best carne asada tacos in all of Los Angeles. And trust me, I've looked. Anyhow, I wrote Molina a letter and signed the save our taco trucks petition. Though I fear you can't fight city hall. Tasteless jerks. 

Here's another one for TTAC's new Whisky Tango Foxtrot category… Ontario's new anti-street racing laws were enforced for the first time when a garbage truck was clocked doing about 70mph in a 40 mph zone. The Record reports that the Great Lakes Waste Management truck would be impounded for seven days, and the driver's license suspended for a week– on top of a $2,000 fine for street-racing. The citation has caused the Ontario police to expand its investigations into alleged street racing beyond the initial targets ("young men in cars," surprise, surprise). Their undue diligence now includes commercial vehicles. "The more we apply this new legislation, we're seeing this problem is across the board," says Ontario Police constable Joanna Van Mierlo. That, or garbage truck drivers are far more dedicated to time efficiency than previously thought. Talk about going like stink! [thanks to QuasiMondo for the link]