Back in the day, the descriptive phrase "living room on wheels" applied to an automobile was a compliment. That I never got. I simply couldn't understand why anyone would want to experience the joys of driving completely insulated from the joys of driving. While I didn't expect everyone to lust after a Dino (the car, not the animated dinosaur), there were BMWs and Mercedes and Toyotas and VWs about that offered a Miley Cyrus solution. Why couldn't Detroit at least move in that direction? When I drove the first Honda Accord, I rejoiced: the Japanese "got it:" road feel, steering feel, handling, braking, the works. I remember thinking right then and there that Detroit was going to get its butt kicked. I was wrong and I was right. As the success of the originall Lexus LS proved, the Japanese understood that building better American-style (i.e. pillow-soft and deadly silent) cars than the Americans was the key to mainstream success. While there are plenty of driver's cars for sale these days, it behooves those of us who prefer them to remember that most people don't. Or do they? If you put an Avalon driver in a BMW 3-Series, would they eventually learn to stop worrying and learn to love the Bimmer? The success of the new Lancer suggests not.

It's no secret that the profit on a used car can be several orders of magnitude greater than the now-minuscule markup on a new car. It's also not unknown that an super-abundance of dealers and a deadly dearth of customers have left hundreds of Ford and Buick-Pontiac-GMC dealers in the soup, struggling to sell enough new cars to stay in business. Ward's Dealer Business reports a new trend: dealers who let their new car franchise lapse and carry on selling used vehicles. Unable to carry a 56 new car inventory, The Davis Auto Mart near Lansing, Michigan handed-in their Buick-Pontiac-GMC. San Diego's Bob Baker Auto Group ditched their Ford franchise this month. The movement will benefit The Big 2.8, who desperately need to trim their bloated dealer network. Meanwhile, it appears that there's plenty of life after dis-enfranchisement. The owner of Performance Auto Mall in Syracuse says the chief advantage of a new car franchise– access to good quality used cars– is history. "Years ago, with new-car shingles, we could go to factory auctions and buy good cars of all brands below market,” Ron Boukair told Ward's. "I now can buy a Chevy Impala for $1,000 less on the Internet than I could get at a closed factory auction." 

The University of Michigan's Transportation Research Institute have released the prosaically titled report "The Effect of Lead-Vehicle Size on Driver Following Behavior." Its authors gave randomly selected drivers (Hey! You!) video-equipped cars for two to five weeks, and then studied their driving behavior. The result: passenger car drivers followed light trucks at shorter distances than they followed passenger cars by an average of 5.6 m (18.6 ft), but at the same velocities and range-rates." Bizarrely enough, when drivers could see through, over or around lead vehicles, they maintained significantly longer (i.e., safer) following distances. The study's authors have a message for truck-tailgating drivers: being able to see a big ass vehicle's stop lights ain't enough. Back off jack. (Only in more scientific language.)

Like most U.S. states, Connecticut has a "lemon law" for consumers who buy a defective vehicle. In the Constitution state, the offending manufacturer must provide a refund or a comparable new vehicle AND reimburse buyers for certain other charges, including sales taxes. Chrysler wants that tax money back, even though its paid by the consumer (not the manufacturer) and a superior court judge said go sing. The RepublicanAmerican reports that Connecticut's Attorney General is not amused by Chrysler's decision to take its case to the state supreme court. "It could be called the height of chutzpah for a car manufacturer that sells a defective car to seek repayment for the tax paid by the consumer," Richard Blumenthal kvetched. Chrysler spokesperson Elaine (no relation) Lutz says the state's picking on carmakers. "Connecticut retailers are entitled to reimbursement of sales tax on refunds to consumers. Chrysler is asking… for the same treatment." You'd think Chrysler would want to keep stum about its lemons, but there are millions of dollars at stake. Oy. 

Detroit News columnist John McCormick’s [undeclared] Caddy junket hath yielded a (gasp!) positive review of the new CTS. "Ready to confound your expectations," "pleasing evolution," "goes head to head with the best," yada yada yada. But before his paean to the brand whose "excellent progress" has resulted in a double digit sales decline, McCormick takes a few shots at potential Caddy customers who are unaware of the majesty that is the CTS. "The problem, as Cadillac general manager Jim Taylor acknowledges, is that even with brand new, competitive product, it is difficult to convey even basic information to buyers who are not knowledgeable enthusiasts." What was that about GM's $2.9b annual ad spend? Never mind. As far as McCormick is concerned, Detroit can't buy a break with the key demographic: German car-loving effete intellectual bi-coastal snobs. (Lexus doesn't get a look in.) "But with the launch of the all new 2008 CTS, Cadillac feels even more deserving of attention from the blinkered coastal sets." We repeat: there is no perception gap. 

Unlike enlightened TTAC readers, your average Wall Street type believes that The Big 2.8's survival recovery hinges on transferring their health care liabilities to a union-administered health care superfund (a.k.a. VEBA)– PROVIDED they pay somewhere around 60 to 70 cents per dollar of health care liability. BUT to do the deal, GM would have to find some $30b, Ford would need some $15b,and Chrysler around $7b. Guess what? They don't have that kind of money hanging around, and their current "distress" makes the cost of borrowing somewhere between "onerous" and "usurious." SO the automakers are looking at paying for the VEBA with a large percentage of their own stock– except for Chrysler who might want to pay cash on the installment plan instead. BUT the union doesn't like the idea of a health care fund paid for by stock or deferred payments all that much, because, well, what if the automaker goes belly-up? Only, again, Wall Street thinks they won't go bankrupt IF the carmakers create a health care VEBA. And THAT means if they do the deal the cost of borrowing to fund the deal would go down AND their stock would go up. And IF the union had agreed to take stock in lieu of cash money AND the stock goes up, the rise would cover the aforementioned discount on the full health care liability. That's IF the union cashes out at the top of the market and invests in something less volatile than their employers' stock. Like, I dunno, Toyota stock. Don't laugh. It could happen. Anyway, if you want to try that again, we recommend Kaisernetwork.org's summation.

VW may be moving from Detroit to Washington, DC. So it's out of the frying pan, into the home of liars. Other than DC's proximity to the regulators who determine what kind of cars get built and the city's more convenient airline connections to the Fatherland, I can't fathom any good reason for the brand to move to Cap City (in both senses of the word). I've got nothing against DC, but it's another highly insular company town. I mean, if you were the head of a car company looking for a place to attract world class talent and keep them from sticking their collective heads up their collective asses, wouldn't you go to the home of car culture? As Jed Clampett's friends said "California's the place you ought to be!" Actually, I'd put my people in Knoxville, TN. Low-cost of living, friendly folk and The Tail of the Dragon, one of this country's wildest public roads. Yeah I know: the police have cracked-down on TOD hoons, big time. But you could cut a deal. Anyway, as much as I love Little Rhody, this is not motorhead mecca– as Mr. Berkowitz so KINDLY pointed out. I wonder how much houses go for down in Knoxville…

Austin-based EEStor says its cracked it. It's developed an electric car battery that will allow a car to travel for 500 miles on a five-minute charge. According to the AP, the Texas company's ultracapacitor (that's ultra, not flux) has a secret ingredient: "a material [barium titanate] sandwiched between thousands of wafer-thin metal sheets, like a series of foil-and-paper gum wrappers stacked on top of each other. Charged particles stick to the metal sheets and move quickly across EEStor's proprietary material." Although Canadian electric car maker ZENN Motors says its taking delivery of the new battery for its "short-range, low-speed vehicles" and hailed the technology as "paradigm shift… that would would make internal combustion engines unnecessary" (note: would not will), skeptics are plenty damn skeptical. Ultracapacitor competitor Maxwell Technologies says the EEstor's doo-hickey won't work with regular wall outlets, could crack from road surface jolts or slowly discharge on it own, leaving the driver stranded. Georgia Tech Prof Joseph Perry shares similar concerns, but "I'd be very happy to be proved wrong." Amen.

GM's recent layoffs at their Oshawa Ontario light truck production facility– the plant that builds the automaker's once-upon-a-time Silverado savior– will idle 1100 workers. While we're sure the Canadian Auto Workers union's most excellent contract will keep those paychecks coming for quite some time, you've got to feel for their future. Meanwhile, over at GM Planworks, the future's so bright they're wearing shades. And playing videogames. Crain's Detroit Business reports that the company that handles all of GM's $2.9b media spend piles up the perks. "Employees who reach 10 years of service can take a four-week sabbatical at half-pay. There are 20 paid holidays on the schedule, shorter Friday workdays in the summer and three- and four-day workweeks…. The company also has digital conference rooms with the newest technology, such as TiVo, DVRs, editing equipment and video game consoles." Howzzat? “Having the newest technology has always been a priority,” said Mary Carpenter, GM Planworks' president of strategy and operations. Hey, where''s MY iPhone? 

Illinois' Governor and former trans-Alaskan pipeline worker Rodney Blagojevich has signed the state's new "Truth in Towing Law." After taking full credit for the legislation, Daily Southtown columnist Phil Kadner reveals the new regs (which also shows you just how bad things were). From now on, "safety relocators" must be licensed by the state, display their company name, address and phone number on their trucks; get the owner's permission before towing a vehicle, reveal the stricken vehicle's ultimate destination and specify all costs. What's more, they can't "ask" owners to sign a transit damage waiver. They must provide an itemized invoice and allow cash OR credit payments, and return the vehicle during normal business hours. And now, the loopholes. First, the law doesn't take effect until July of next year. Second, there is no set fee for towing. Kadner reports that towing companies are still charging owners $1700 cash to retrieve their vehicles. 

The GM cheering section over at The Car Connection (TCC) checks-in with a look at Saab's crystal ball. Previewing the ostensibly Swedish brand's forthcoming crossover (a.k.a. the 9-4x), new Saab boss and GM lifer Steve Shannon wasn't pulling any punches– or saying anything coherent. ""We will not make the mistake of some other manufacturers, trying to make a 'tweener,' somewhere between a car and a truck. We will not take any risks with this." Huh? After that Zen-koan-on-wheels hits the streets, Shannon's mob will make another attempt at building a Saaburu 9-2. "We learned a lesson from the 9-2. We need to add a design that's really a breakthrough. There are a lot of very pedestrian, over-priced players in that segment right now." Many of them still making money, no doubt. Speaking of which, Shannon claims Saab is "sustainable" at 200k new car sales per year. To hit that mark, Saab requires a 35 percent increase over current sales. TCC says "Saab is betting it can reach those numbers." We say, where can we get a piece of THAT action?

How's this for gallows humor. What's the difference between Ford's Mercury franchise and the Titanic? The Titanic had a band. That little piece of levity arrives courtesy John Pico, a dealership consultant in Dallas. Speaking to Automotive News [AN sub], Pico pointed out that Chrysler killed Plymouth when the brand's new vehicle sales descended to 246k units, and GM pulled the plug on Oldsmobile when that brand's sales fell to 289k. Mercury's sales are currently below 200k, and heading south. Automotive News surveyed 125 Mercury dealers to do the math. No can do. Despite the fact that two-thirds admitted they sell fewer than 15 new Mercury vehicles a month, five out of six said Mercury's current product lineup is competitive. It better be; aside from a Merc version of the 2009 hybrid Focus, there is no new product planned for the brand. AN also reports that the "How great is that?" Mark LT pickup is about to go away. Yet still they believe. "Dealers in the survey said they hope Ford will apply proceeds from the sale of these European luxury brands to strengthening Mercury." According to Brian Allan, general manager of Galpin Lincoln-Mercury in suburban LA, "With the possible sale of Volvo, Mercury could be even more important in the near future for Ford Motor Company." Of this possibility FoMoCo's silence speaks volumes.

The New York Times reports that Berlin, New Hampshire is recovering from its post-paper mill slump by building a federal prison and an A.T.V./motocross park. Good luck with the prison thing. Meanwhile, in five year's time, Berlin will accommodate Ozzie Osbourne's least favorite form of transportation with some 136 miles of trails and numerous campgrounds. "About 20 miles are open now on the 7,500-acre tract," The Times reports. "Most of which the state bought from a logging company for $2.1 million in 2005. The state has estimated the park will eventually generate $694k in annual revenue." The president of the New Hampshire ATV club says it could be more. "I'm constantly getting calls from southern New England from people looking for some place to go," Rick Lacourse reveals. "At the moment, you've got to go all the way up to Maine to find long trails. If Berlin connects the park with other local trails, you could have 300 miles or more. It'll be a major magnet for off-road enthusiasts."  

Yup, it's a trend! This is our third example of safety advice so glaringly obvious that we can only assume its target audience will need someone with a higher IQ to read it to them very, very slowly. This time it's not a press release. It's an actual, honest-to-God story from an intern at the Daily Press in Newport News, VA. Katie Bahr lowers the bar for local drivers, telling them "When a school bus stops and its red lights are flashing, no cars are allowed to pass the bus from either direction until it is moving again, state law says." For riders, Bahr turns to David Benware, the director of transportation at Hampton City Public Schools. "Make sure the bus has come to a complete stop before beginning to approach it from the outside or — if you're on the bus — before getting out of your seat." We'll add that children should remain seated when the bus is in motion. 

This Sunday's Times carried a report from "The People's Republic of Richmond" describing the effects of the London Borough's anti-car jihad, which includes proposals to charge residential parking permit fees according to a vehicle's CO2 emissions. The article paints a vivid picture of a city under siege by its own government. "Across the road, carpet retailer Martin Herdman has erected 1,000-watt speakers outside his shop that emit an air-raid siren blast whenever parking wardens are spotted in the vicinity — usually four or five times a day. An underground network of fellow retailers and residents phone in alerts, and children on bikes cycle ahead of the wardens to give warning." The rest of the piece offers the usual examination of government hypocrisy (300 parking spaces for city council staff) and greed. The most telling quote comes from a sports car-loving immigrant. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful," Zoran Jokic told the Times. "But now I live in a borough that takes away another little freedom every day. In this country we are cramped by people and cramped by legislation. It irritates me considerably, but at least in this society I still have the freedom to speak out and raise my concerns.”